Happy! Found out that I CAN search for vip members only, and to my delight found a member who loves to fuck men with strapons and see men playing with each other, which are my boundaries deliciously crossed! Have messaged and am hopeful! Maybe this site could work after all!
After a lot of no attention except from members who can't chat as aren't paying, I have escalated to a ruder pic or two..let's see!