CLUES FOR A HAPPY DATE?

I am also rubbish at picking up on clues......normally get it all wrong!!! Also like you I am shy especially with someone I fancy and end up talking nonsense and giggling all the time lol Best thing to do is just go and enjoy yourself the best you can and only do what you feel comfortable with :)

Bloomin heck FFP i'm hopeless at reading the signs and sort of tend to think that most man are in the same boat as i.
In truth i think i'd have more chance of knowing if they just took a brave pill and came out and asked me straight up. Sort of think it all comes down to having as much communication as possible before taking the step to meet for the first time. Has served me well and in truth it takes the pressure off if you know upfront if they are 'Friends' of the friends only sort or if they are 'Friends' that may be more than just friends.
Oft now i just bet i've confused you more, as i think i've even managed to confuse myself. lol :-) x

You did not do anything ‘wrong’ .. He was just not able to read your 'language' ..

Taken to the extreme ... its the 'she wanted sex because she did meet me with a sexy dress’ …. Ie when is a no not a no ? Never …

It is up to the other person to interpret who you are

You are who you are .. right ?

The issue is not YOU ... its him ... so never try and change who you are … Be who you are … and always stay true to yourself … no matter what.

For me .. its a matter eye contact .and be able to read the person ..... and if I get it wrong .. well that is my mistake … .

For me there would be a few signals but at the end of the day the ball would be in your court :-) x

Lovely Cleo. The answer is to be true to yourself. It would be a shame if you felt you had to modify your personalitybehavior for fear of giving off the wrong signals. Most red-blooded males ( and I take the liberty of including myself in that ) would hope,given mutual attraction, that the relationship might be taken on a stage. Expressing that desire to lady is acceptable I think providing a) that it is done in such a manner so as not to offend and to make it clear that it is a compliment to the attractiveness of yourself and b) that if you refuse,this should be accepted politely and with good grace. Most decent guys will go along with that.Coercion in sex is false and bears no resemblance to consensual agreement.
Unfortunately, there are guys about who are absolutely clueless when it comes to knowing how to treat a lady and I hope you always tell a trusted friend when you go on a first date,don't get yourself isolated and keep your mobile handy.

Thanks to all for your replies. Funnily enough, I really thought it was me giving the wrong signals. I thought in a way I had encouraged him without realizing. I did not even consider the possibility that he just wanted to try no matter what.

Now, I could be a little naive sometimes and gullible too, but there is no way or form I would ever do something I am not ready or I don't want to do. I truly think that the best part of having something intimate with someone is the desire to do it with such passion and will that it will make the occasion memorable for both.

On the other hand, I talked to some friends and they told me there is no way they would ever try to kiss a girl without her making the first move (poor shy ones) lol. Overall, I think men have the very tough job of reading a woman's mind. Aren't we complicated Sunshine? ;p

The end of the story? I think it is a happy one, in case you want to know, he accepted the no politely (I hope you are glad about this Fetch) and later wrote a text expressing his will to keep our friendship. img src="imagesadultemoticons001.gif"

PS. Have a nice time Mac :)

In my opinion there are no good or wrong signals. All this is very culturally biased, therefore trying to decode the signals from the other person in a date is almost a futile exercise. This is even worse in a expat environment and with people with multicultural backgrounds.

What I find refreshing about the people you meet in this website, is that you can be true to yourself without the fear of embarrassment (and without poker mind games :-) )

Sometime people make things far to complicated, Friends are friends though sometimes the lines can become blurred that will only happen if both people are open to taking things to another level. I class friends of a sexual nature more as lovers, in which case i make my intentions very clear. You see it saves wasting peoples time if you make your intentions clear and also takes away any chance of confusion.

Well, somtimes indeed difficult and also a matter of try and error.

BigBurd... you are very right. Clarity is the best approach even at the cost of looking a bit blunt :)

of his ears :-)

Female equovalent? Erected nipples or slipping of the chair is a fairy tale.:-).so far more subtle i guess...maybe a blink...a soft touch of a hand,.,a smile (mysterioulsy) ...maybe it is more a feeling that tells you so

Wonder if there is much of a gender difference in the signals....only know women are far better to apply them..way diverse and simple,,,.lguys can never seducingly lick their lips...:-)

And with guys i really dont know...once had a a gay men making a pass on me...my gay colleague stood bye and had a great time,,he said he had seen it coming as soon as we entered the bar..he had seen the obvious signals,..imhadnt seen any...:-). When I asked...he siad he couldnt explain..but hey are obvious...huh..

So in any case..i always feel,slightly insecure when to,propose to kiss or more...you may have understood it wrong and embarras your self and your date..

@Anthony it's quite an interesting theory.
Nevertheless I don't see the link between "female ready for sex" and "male submissive". Also in the context of a primitive society, while a submissive male would better care for offsprings it would also be less able to defend the group, zeroing the reproductive advantage.
What do you think?

Now I feel I have to say I will always kiss someone if I like him a lot and if I see he is a little shy or insecure.

I think it is only fair enough not to miss what could potentially be a great kiss or an amazing second date. However, I always wonder if men feel like they need to kiss a woman or they can't refuse because she kisses them?

Julian: I use J'adore and so I hope that would meet your approval lol

Antony: I can understand the Science behind what you are writing. I am not sure saying women are sluts is the best way to put the idea forward. I am sure many women will be thinking of many rude signals for such statement hahaha

Emm it does seem that you are the one complaining the most Anthony, so be a good submissive and pop the dummy back in your mouth and leave everyone else to get along with trying to help others with any questions they wish others opinions on.

My advice is to go with your 'gut instinct', never do anything that you don't feel comfortable with FFP. I'm sure if you want that kiss you will give him a sign that he will understand that you are open to being more that just friends. Good luck xx

Well well Antony

What easy presumptious arrogant replies,,,,..

Glad you are not looking for anything here,,:-)

And free..

J'adore sounds perfect....that would do it for me

Who you will meet a man who truly says and demonstrates that he adores you!!

Chris, I am thinking those would be signs for more than kiss, maybe? hahahaha.....You made me laugh and yes, u r silly! img src="imagesadultemoticons021.gif"

ROFLOL now that was funny MacB :-)

lol always funny things happening to you, lets meet and i will show the true tips :)

Well, not really....lol...Maybe women are indeed complicated img src="imagesadultemoticons026.gif"