What I am. And what I want.

Thing is EG, lots of us want the same, ish.. as you, if I've read you right.

I've certainly accepted very similar 'proposals' or arrangements, but the arrangements slowly morphed into something altogether more serious and, frankly, unwanted.. though it pains me to put it so bluntly.

I didn't initiate two or three of these arrangements, (over many years), but had to be the one to end us. The lovely, lovely women concerned were gradually changing the goal posts.. and were falling... had fallen.

Was I so dim that I ought to have noticed sooner and finished us? Maybe so. After a long chat with at least one, it was denied anyway, (so I wouldn't vanish).

I was with my ex for twenty two years and I just didn't want another 'concrete' relationship. But I still felt like a creep when I ended things with them.
I did feel like a 'Player' then. A thing I've genuinely tried to avoid all my life.

Now, I'm very wary. And again, I'm in the same position as many others, both men and women. We avoid starting sometimes, because we don't want to hurt another if they see the 'thing' as something else.

And nope, I'm not here fishing for you, lol..

I'm just thinking out loud.


You can't offer a contract for this of course. An escort? Hmm, maybe, but no.
Not for me anyway. Even putting the money aspect to one side, I'd like something altogether more personal and warm.

But a 'F*** Buddy' doesn't quite hit the spot either. I'd hate my 'F*** Buddy' to be called that, lol.
Boyfriend and girl friend? Well kind of, yes, but..... but... hmm.

Answers on a postcard please.



(I think I ought to have stopped at just the one glass of red...)

"was with my ex 22 years.."

Amen Miss G

xx


March?

You're going?

Would it be rude to ask why?

Aphrodite my dearest. I haven't the foggiest idea what I want (You may well have concluded that I was totally clueless,during our recent encounter ) but I am a great believer in serendipity and live in hope that there will be unexpected surprises, waiting round the corner.
I did try to cram myself into one of the pigeon- holes you categorized for the two types of men,but I couldn't fit in, so I'll just sit quietly on your shoulder instead xxx

Miss Goodnight.I can't take issue with the criteria you so eloquently express,but have you considered the value of just plain friendship ?
Also, I don't recall giving my permission for you to absent yourself in March,so please stay and continue to delight us.xxx

Erotic, this is my first post in a blog....Why? Because I identify with this so much. I know what you mean. Every single word makes sense to me. However, if life was that easy I don't think any of us would be here. I came here with the hope I would find someone to fulfill that dream. You are not my bf, but we desire each other and care for each other. I truly think men don't get us and probably they are right when saying we need too much and it seems we need more than sex. I am not embarrased to say, of course I need someone for more than sex. I think I have found the guy here but he only time will tell now if I have been one of the lucky ones....

"only time will tell now if I have been one of the lucky ones.... "

To me, this seems the crux of the issue: attraction between two partners fades with time, and the big issue is whether partners' feelingshorniness "evolve" at the same pace in a similar direction, or whether one loses hisher desire while the other is left high and dry. Then of course there is outside temptation somewhere along the way (and men are not the sole villains of the peace as far as this is concerned).

I started off many years back being romantic and idealistic (probably through social conditioning), but was invariably let down in one way or another by a succession of women. Of course this may have been attributable to perceived failings on my part part: it's just that women have different criteria for dissatisfaction with a male partner, so perhaps I was just unlucky. However, I think that in the fullness of time, such experiences give life richness, and can teach us a lot about ourselves. At this stage of my life, I honestly think that us humans would be happier if we could just accept that the Holy Grail of eternal lifetime monogamous happiness is a myth, and that a succession of partners throughout our lives is actually closer to what Nature intended.

Skiebbie, what can I say? I was, believe it or not, the eternal romantic..and I still am..Perhaps part of the problem is that I wish to keep the best of both words. Succesion of partners is not a bad idea, but each of them being a meaningful experience...For some weird reason even if I met a guy and had sex just once, I would like to think he will remember me...and I am still wondering if it is too much to ask?

Depends how you approach this. I'm not implying that an eternal series of one-offs is the way to go: more like a series of liaisons - some lasting months or years - with partners whose aims match yours at any given life stage. I think that such liaisons still provide ample scope for "meaningfulness" because each one broadens our experience of life, love and other human beings and perhaps makes us more compassionate. You don't necessarily get that if you are stuck in a life-long rut but still insist on calling it "perfect".

... is now singling Gloria Gaynor

I am what I am
And what I want needs no excuses
I deal my own deck
Sometimes the ace, sometimes the deuces

There's one life and there's no return and no deposit
One life so it's time to open up your closet
Life's not worth a dam
Till you can say, hey world, I am what I am.

"time to open up your closet"

On a site like this, the metaphorical connotations are considerable :-)

Indeed they are Skebbie. ;-)

Then, I may say Skebbie. You are a romantic in a way too :) Or perhaps my halo was to pull you...lol