So how much will I actually achieve?

Oooh do like a bit of Bargain Hunt but I'm muchly enjoying Call the Council

Onanism is the posh word for wanking

Fact of the day:
The Japanese word for wanking is "Onani". (They like to import foreign words and make them shorter.)

I bet you're glad you know that.

Onanism to Bargain Hunt & Call the Council???................................................... Isn't that what Lorraine is for? ;-)

What's wanking got to do with onions? Or do I need to look at more specialist German websites?

Erm, no Star, coitus interruptus is a fairly useless form of birth control...
i.e. the 'pulling out' method.

Whereas onanism is simply a good old five finger shuffle !


I'm with Billy Connelly as far as coitus interruptus goes.. he said "At the point of ejaculation, not a herd of wild horses would be able to make my arse go backwards when it wanted to shove forwards" lol.

Amen to that. :-)

Posh handjobs! Where's the fun in that?

Now is that an Oxymoron, Paradox or Contradiction???? Knew I should have concentrated more in English class!

Maybe StarG..... I've never been the same since seeing Gregory's Girl in my youth ;-)

Haha yep, ANY (female) hand apart from your own is a fairly posh handjob isn't it?

Plus, you could try to join in the spirit of poshness by shouting "I'm arriving, I'm arriving!!"

Err sounds like Mrs Claus is doing some drive-by gift distribution with menaces

Ohhhh yesss S.S.
I've been sooooo good this year !!

You don't have to get grubby coming down the chimney either, but feel free to get really filthy coming through the front door ;-)

Was just thinking back to a period of my life where I found great amusement in blowing my load in obscure places... don't believe it's ever been on or down a chimney, various department store changing rooms yes, over some poor woman's jeans whilst cramped at a bar yes but not on a roof (so far)

Hahaha

"over some poor woman's jeans whilst cramped at a bar"

That was a joke, right?

My guess is it wasn't. ...

Knocking out a crafty one in shop changing rooms? I'm glad the interweb was invented for all my garment needs!

I know there's stone-washed (faded) jeans.. and there's the torn knee look.. some have lots of rips and slits.. then there's that sexy 'micro shorts' look in jeans..

(mmmm.. Daisy Duke in Dukes of Hazard)

So maybe the 'jizzed stained look' will take off too.

Now THAT would be a job to go for ;-)

I think that's what you call distressed denim img src="imagesadultemoticons026.gif"

lol, you're great, on a scale of one to ten,

I'd definitely give you one... ;-)