This it time to wake up

swampbug

Disappointed with myself for wasting 5 years of my life, time to wake up and make some friends.

Hello

don't know if this is of interest or will bore the pants off everyone. or even if this is a blog.
Just over 5 years ago i was a Lorry Mechanic for some 35 years, loved it, had a big hybrid off road land rove, Trail motor Bike, Quad Bike, Para Gliding, Skuba Diving and horse Riding, yes i was a very sporty and outside man.
Sex, couldn't get enough, was always up for it, in fact my x Wife when i cheated on her after being together for 15 years, i admitted to having 8 other women art the same time, I'm not proud, i regret it very much, i hurt her a lot and sorry for that, but she got the house out of it and now she is happlie married again with a nice bloke, anyways thats what my sex life was like, whats it like now? i haven't had sex or Cum in 5 Years, the accident was a lorry up on a jack and it broke, me lorry i lost and was paralysed from the waist down, but lucky, i am up out of my chair, and only use it when i got out now, i did have to learn to walk again starting off on a Zimmer frame and yes hats of to old people that use them, its harder than you think, then crutches and now a stick. what i have to do now is exercise my legs, very weak from doing nothing for 5 years, how can i sit for 5 years doing nothing? easy when you wake up every morning wishing you hadn’t woken up, wish you wasn’t here and started to self harm. thats all over now i have a lot to live for.
lying in my bed in Hospital i did wonder is this it? thats the end of my Adventures?
I also started wheelchair rugby and basketball, love it.
also i have had to find something to do hence my photography, i specialise in Plus size love helping getting there portfolio done, makes them feel good and me too.
also im a Masseur, i need to feel useful again, something i haven't felt for a long time, I'm asking myself why am i writing this? i think its to be understood, yes I'm disabled but i have all my parts they just don't work properly and no I'm not sad I'm ok, I do need to get out during the day instead of watching daytime programs lol, fed up of them and especially now its nice out, well for a day or 2.
it feels like i have to loose my cherry all over again, scared incase i don’t work for some reason, not a mans thing to do, never had brewers droop in my life, i had a great sex life, i just carnet do it anymore the easy thing to do is forget about it and find a hobby, I’m married and we haven’t in 5 years tried, she has had an affair, carnet blame her not her fault and I’m not angry about it either, i just carnet approach the subject with her, male pride i think, what to do? thats the question, sex therapy at 45 quid a session? don’t think so but if it has to be then i will, but not now.
Im looking for friends to chat to, have a coffee with, have a laugh, a massage if they want one, i love to give massage.
now I’m coming to the end of this blog, whats it all about? what do i want to gain from this? simply friend ship, i have lost a best friend and she is no longer a friend, long story not my fault lol, never is they say ha ha.
if you feel like you could be friend me, please feel free to call, prefer a couple or female i get on better with females.
hope this blog is right and not got the wrong end of the stick, any questions feel free, I’m not going anywhere :) Thank you for reading and in advance for leaving a nice message of encouragement lol xx

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