Preconceptions and Reality

For me it usually depends on how long we've chatted. After long in depth chats over a period of time, meeting for the first time is generally great....we know each other and expectations, etc. I've rarely been disappointed. That comes from meeting too quickly and having no idea what the other likes andor is looking for.

Reality has been pretty close to expectation in most cases, but I do my homework thoroughly :-) (Admittedly this was a result of some false starts at the beginning - as MsG says, you live and learn.)

My pics are all real. I don't use Photoshop. I'm just selective and a bit creative with lighting, shadow, cropping etc. I always supply face pics via private mail because I think it's only fair (and I expect the same in return). After that, the rest is up to quirks of individual character, and whether or not they rub your date up the wrong way :-)

Me too :-

Reality - don't get me started....

Molested by violent wippets - check

Knock down wall of the house my fellow adventurer is housesitting - check

Left alone in a hotel bar in Hammersmith - check

Speed camera on way back from an adventure nowhere near (Scotland) where I was supposed to be (Hull) in the firms car - check

So I have enough problems with the real world to even allow myself preconceptions.

That said its all bloody good fun!

An interesting mix. It all comes down to good conversations.. and honesty in corresponding.

Information is key.... sharing and understanding what each wants and needs for any liaison.

I live - definitely....

But I am still learning!

We should write a book Wings - It Shouldn't Happen To A Swinger.

The world is indeed full or weird an wonderful people.... across the entire range of the spectrum!

The dragons were just so surreal though....

Good blog topic Paulo, surprised there hasn't been more comments.

From my own, and I must add very limited meetings of other members, regardless of what may have been discussed verbally or electronically prior to the actual vis-a-vis, I like to meet as I would a friend for a social. no pressure, no commitment and no meaning no!

I like to not form any expectations or pre conceived ideas, as that way regardless of how things transpire I can at least have an interesting and comfortable time with a new person.

To date I've only met three other members, (I know, pathetic eh, must try harder), and though we had exchanged a fair amount of likes, dislikes and got reasonably comfortable with each other via mails and texts, on reflection only one turned out to be accurate to prior communication. (The first was probably the most fabulous woman I've ever had the opportunity to share time with, 'genuinely' Unique in every way, and a sheer delight to be around' sadly however I think not very compatible with a 'Shrek lookalike' as I am, and I misread the situation completely. The second scared the holy ghost out of me, no lie, very glad that nothing happened and I was driving away, and the third, well, will see, no comment).

I Think that with the myriad of normal factors involved in meeting up with someone in everyday life for the first time, looks, personality etc, the addition of sexual preferences, likes, dislikes and timings can tip the scale to an extreme degree, and to me personally, regardless of what may have transpired prior to that point needs to be put in the background and a new chapter started at an actual meet.

I have only met with a couple of men from the site. I make sure i get to know the person over a period of time so that i can judge better that they are all that they profess to be and that we click and are on the same page . I would never rush into a meet.

Keeping safety in mind at all times is a must for me and i make sure i am clear that although we are meeting that is not a guarantee that will be their lucky nightday and i alwasy make sure they know that no offence will be taken on my part. If both people don't feel a spark when they meet it is not going to work.

My pics are not photoshopped but i have to admit i am hopeless at taking pics. I have played with the tint on a few but they are all still definitely all me.

That does sound the most sensible policy Sunshine. Having an extended conversation does mean that the getting-to-know-you stage.

Safety should be paramount for all of use I believe.

And yes... the SPARK... that is what we need to find.