Me, Myself and I: A little bit of self-lust

Well I think most of you people who frequent these pages will have realized by now that I'm a blatant exhibitionist: however, that does not mean I love myself, or that I'm a narcissist. Rather it means that I have issues about how I'm perceived. On the whole, I'm confident, but sometimes when I feel the cold north wind of maturity blowing up my arse, I suffer from the same issues as yourself. You could probably argue that my obsession with media represents the efforts of someone who feels his glory is fading, and who is finding it increasingly difficult to show off his best "bits" in the most favorable light :-) When I produce a good "self portrait", I feel vindicated, but there is always that creeping realization that it's becoming increasingly less representative of the "whole me".

Yes, I suppose - like you - I do feel sexy when I'm on form, and I still get a lot of appreciation. It's just that the appreciation these days tends to be more from those who've taken the trouble to get to know me, so perhaps to them my "inner qualities" make up for the "outer defects" :-)

I could have done that SAS, but that's what happens when your lil'fingers get carried away and you're shooting from the hip.
In any case, apart from the smell of horses and straw in my hair, the first para is ever so slightly exagerated (what no?!), but there is an element of truth there.

When 'off duty', I often look like a hobo.

The sun is still shining here :)

Shyboy, good for you!! You must share your secret then I can use it in my motivational DVD before flogging it to Dixon. Oh hang on, Dixon is the guest star in the DVD, I'm flogging it to Ronald.

:-)

Put bluntly ma'am I am a huge fecking fan and my heart is gladdened by both your sparkling personality and your fab good looks.

So you go ahead and revel in your status as a Top Hottie.

Can I have a jelly baby now?

Wise words Luv2 .... Very wise words xx

Great blog Luv2 and we all think you are a hottie all the time btw, must get off me arse and go for a walk tomorrow lol

Luv2: As Joe said "Very wise words" indeed and oh so brave of you all to blow your own trumpets.
Hmm will sleep on this one then see what pops into my head as to what makes me love being me.

Thanks you lot. We mere mortals are imperfect by our very 'human' nature and I'm guessing most of us have varying degrees of hang ups about ourselves. The key is how we manage them. It wasn't my intention to fish for complements or as frisky so eloquently says "have smoke blown up my arse". I guess I just wanted to dress a serious point (yes, I can be serious) up with a bit of humour.

I think I may have said before that I was brought up to act in a particular way and to have a certain set of principles and values. There's nothing wrong with that, it's just that as I get older, my outlook on life is unintentionally getting younger. I have a family, I work hard, I'm a good person who can sleep with a clear conscience at night, but this is no dress rehearsal. I think I've earned the right to enjoy myself 'now'. Right now! Feeling good about myself helps me do this. Life is far too short and I hate to say but our futures are not guaranteed and not one of us knows what's in store for us.

I'm working hard at only having good days and great days.

Today is going to be a great day.

Right, I'm off to see what's happening in Funtime's Jaccuzi.

Luv2: I think the main difference between you and me is that I've been at this game for well over a decade, whereas your own personal circumstances landed you on here only about a year ago.

When I first started I was at white heat, and in some ways my level of motivation and enthusiasm probably resembled yours at this particular moment in time. You have still got a long way to go, so enjoy the ride while you can - as you say, our futures are not guaranteed.

However, I feel as though I've had an almost indecent amount of self-fulfillment and that if I keep on seeking more at the same level of enthusiasm, then I'm riding for a fall: I'm not 35, or even 40, anymore :-) So I guess I have "reined myself in" to some extent: I simply "can't be arsed" to destroy my biorhythms by engaging in non-productive chat until the wee smalls. I still enjoy self-promotion and chat through these pages, but it's largely on my own terms and at my own pace. If anything positive comes out of it in terms of meets, then it's a bonus, but I'm not prepared to go above and beyond: If two people click, I think you can feel it at an early stage, and what happens after that seems largely effortless because the interaction seems natural and synergistic.

Unsure how much longer I'll be here: a year? two years? But whenever I retire it will be at a point where I feel I've struck a balance between delights passed and the incongruity of a bloke like me still trying to pass himself off as a "stud" :-) (See my early blog about Intimations of Retirement). If nothing else, at least I'm a realist :-)

Well Luv2Suc my dear,I doff my scruffy baseball cap with " Lonsdale " written on it, in utter respect for your display of self-confidence and the fact that you have an appreciation of your attributes,of which I have discovered,you have many,both physical and intellectual..
I have many mood swings when it comes to physical appearance.I suppose I feel best about myself when I am suited and booted and I guess that comes from my military background.However,I also find it fun to be mistaken for a Spanish peasant sometimes.When the tourists are here I have been approached by them and asked for directions,through the medium of their Spanish phrase books.I pretend not to understand them, saying " Que ? " Que? " to their horrible Castilliano.This prompts them to use the method normally employed by Brits ,to make themselves understood i.e to speak English slowly and at the top of their voices. WHERE CAN I GET AN ENGLISH NEWSPAPER ? " etc. I eventually respond in my best Public School accent,which either infuriates them or makes them laugh .Very childish I know, but I get a perverse joy from playing this prank and even more,for being mistaken as a native.At any rate,I feel better about myself so who cares ?

Fetch: I once got mistaken for a buddhist monk :-)

I had a cousin 10 years my senior who was sent to Japan as an executive by his company for 5 years, and he seemed to get along surprisingly well in Tokyo speaking English in a very loud voice :-)

I think you and me must've had a similar upbringing Luv2 as the days I also feel like shouting that I am the Bees knees are few and far between. And yes I know that life isn't a rehearsal etc but sometimes no matter how hard you try to steer things in the direction you want and to make the most of your time, life just seems to act like a rudderless boat veering from one horizon to the next.

Recently I did come across a quote that I thought I should always remember when that boat is on another random course of choppy waters that might make me feel a little bit more in control and good about myself...

"Always remember. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, smarter than you think and twice as beautiful as you ever imagined ...."

And the wise person who said this .... Christopher Robin to Winnie the Pooh. Which just goes to show that we might all think we are a "bear of very little brain" but we're really much, much more than that...

Blimey, these serious blogs are hard work. Maybe you should as Funtimes if he has any top tips to help with self esteem issues?

Wingit my lovely, you have the ability to make me feel better about myself without having to resort to tourist language. In my book,you have no need to even consider changes to your personna.Stay exactly as you are !
Now as to those nudist camps,you are most welcome at any time to come and hang out with me. xxximg src="imagesadultemoticons008.gif"

On reflection, this blog is admittedly a little serious by my standards (no mention of big willies) and as pointed out by Joe, blogs that have a 'hint of seriousness' to them can be difficult to respond to, but I find that's because they provoke so many conflicting thoughts and feelings that are sometimes hard to articulate or indeed, so personal, that we choose not to share. Even I am having difficulty quickly collating my thoughts to some of what has been said so far as there have been so many interesting points raised.

I had intended to capture the 'essence' of how I was feeling yesterday; how I viewed myself in a 'holistic' sense, not just in relation to my naughty little cyberworld secret. Of course, the benefit (?) of this "I'm feeling hot" self-confession in my cyberworld is now keeping my inbox busy.

Skebbie, as always, your earlier comment was well thought out and something you said intrigued me: " ... indecent amount of self-fulfillment and that if I keep on seeking more at the same level of enthusiasm, then I'm riding for a fall." Are you willing to share what you meant by this? The devil in me is particularly interested in your use of the word 'indecent' :-). I think you're right about when two people click you get a sense of it very early on. This could go back to my previous 'Like' blog and Wingit's earlier comment about like finding like - it does happen.

It raises the question about to what extent does cyber-chemistry really exist?

That question may seem far from the blog subject, but not when you consider that those people we connect with make us feel good about ourselves, even if only for a short time. Conversely, Wingit makes a good point about the negative impact people (including your peers) can have on your self-esteem. It reminds me of that old adage about being able to forgive what people have said and done, but never being able to forget how they made you feel.

I'm still having a great day! x

Thought provoking again Luv2. You really are on a roll with this serious stuff today. The line about "being able to forgive what people have said and done, but never being able to forget how they made you feel" certainly rings very true. Possibly to stay with us forever? Rather than be a hindrance, instead it should be used as a "Screw you!!!" attitude which just spurs us on to prove to ourselves and the perpetrators that not only are we flippin awesome, but are far better than they can ever hope to be!

Does everyone adopt Wingit's Devil may care attitude as we get older or just a few of us. I know it's been growing on me, much to my own surprise or perhaps it called also be explained as growing old disgracefully? Either way I think it "accentuates the positive and eliminates the negative", aspects of life.

I think maybe tonight when I get home, I might just look in the mirror, have a little grin and think I'm not such a bad old sod after all ;)

Becoming single a couple of years ago in a moment of claritybraveness has now become one of my beeter life choices. It is something that i have embraced. Using the time since to evolve rather like a butterfly emerging from the confine of its chrysalis. I took stock of my situation, what to i have to offer and what would i hope to gain in the future before flying free....

Everyone has good an not so good pointsqualities, i think it serves best to play to or emphasise our strong points and fluff over or make changes to the not so good in some cases :-)

On the whole i am comfortable in my own skin and accept that although some people will like me, there will be others who won't and that's ok.

I've never been attracted to looks alone and find that it is the "truewhole" person that i am drawn to rather than superficial looks alone and i tend to attract a similar type of person share my attitude.

Personally - and as you all probably now realize ad nauseam - I've never had any problem at all tackling serious blogs, so I was quite happy to open up on this thought-provoking topic and extend it a little further. (Luv2 - you should write serious blogs more often :-) I guess I've always been straight, sincere, and almost naively trusting by nature, and although not devoid of humour, I admit my own particular brand may be a little less flippant than average (as I've said - I sometimes feel out of touch with what's now considered "funny" in the UK :-)

When I used the term "indecent" to describe how much fulfillment I've derived from this game, it was not - in fact - a sexual connotation. It was used more in the sense that I can hardly believe my good fortune, that I've somehow been blessed, and that in some ways it seems almost unfair. It also implies that I've recently had a sense that my "luck must start running out soon", and that if things started to go sour at this late stage, such a negative experience would somehow taint my overview of good things past, and I would not like that to happen. I'm at the stage now where I have to weigh up carefully the balance between self-contentedness, the level at which I promote myself, and the stage of my life (or "career" if you like :-) at which I find myself. The last thing I want to do is make a fool of myself in the public domain (haha.......), and there's no fool like an old fool :-)

As well as operating best as a "scavenger" :-) my "strategy" (if you can call it that) is also perhaps akin to "fishing". I dangle my line in the water and wait for bites, but if the fish nibbles and rejects the bait, then I won't go charging off into the hot-tub or chat rooms in relentless pursuit of retrieving the one that got away. I think that if two people are destined to meet, then communication will develop naturally, and perhaps this is the essence of "cyber-chemistry", although media do play their part too: maybe it's akin to all the trinkets a male bower-bird will lay on display for approval by a prospective mate :-)

It's funny, but I do agree that one's formative years, and the various indignities heaped upon an individual by hisher peers, can motivate behaviour later in life. In my own case, I was a very late sexual developer, and was constantly taunted in the showers - even by my sadistic gym master. Later, when I did indeed "grow up", I think I became hell-bent on trying to project my sexuality on my own terms. To this end I think I was largely successful, and now I sometimes chuckle to myself when I imagine what kind of boring sex lives my former tormentors - now likely fat and hypertensive with dowdy "Christmas wives" - now lead :-)

part 2.

I have found the saying "All that glistens is not gold" to have been very true in the past.

All that said, I do love days when i look in the mirror and think "hell yes, you look quite good today".

I have come to realise that i quite like me, yes i think i'm ok;-)

Luv2: Oft this was a difficult one for me.x

Not just for you SunShine x

SAS, here's me thinking self-depreciation is a uniquely British trait.

IMHO being confident is wonderful and a positive quality to have to successfully navigate your way through this tricky life. Those who have the right amount of it are extremely fortunate. I think it allows us to overcome fears and doubts and helps us make life decisions and I find that those with confidence have a positive and optimistic attitude and are easy to be around. A confident person can accept their weaknesses or faults easily and with grace, even though they may not like them. For these reasons, I find that I'm attracted to confident people. OMG! does that make me submissive ... Er no!

However, as is often the case, too much of a good thing can become a bad thing and I think over confidence is a weakness and as I said in my blog, I find arrogance unattractive. Arrogant people usually have a distorted view of the world, a warped understanding of themselves and build themselves up in order to put others down.

Going back to the blog subject, we should really aim to strive for honest self-acceptance (a bit of self-lust) in order to nurture our own self-confidence.
Ronald, that note is for you x

As for growing old disgracefully ... SuenChris are fine examples of how to do it. Where are they by the way?

As for me, I've reached that age where my brain often goes from "you probably shouldn't say or do that" to "what the feck, let's see what happens." Similar to MissG, this site has given me the confidence and opportunity to do that. Gets you into all sorts of naughtiness, but as I say, it's not a dress rehearsal.

I had a great day today x

"Age is a state of mind".... or do older people just say that to make themselves feel better?

"Luv2 - you should write serious blogs more often"
Blimey, that wouldn't do my rep as a 'nawty gurl' much good would it? img src="imagesadultemoticons012.gif" and I'd miss taking about my favourite subject ... (I'm not going to say it).

I like to think my blogs are 'all inclusive' ;-) and give opportunity for all members to contribute ... oh, and besides that, these 'ere serious ones are quite a responsibility and hard work to maintain, especially this early.

It's another beautify morning in Luv2 Street. I can hear the birds singing outside and I feel like having Jelly Babies for breakfast.

What's going to make you feel good today?

Beautify!!!! that should be beautiful ... a beautiful morning in Luv2 Street.

Have a good day all ... x

Sounds as though (a) you're in love, or (b) those jelly babies have been spiked with some mind-altering substance :-)

Morning dedication (from someone who - on rare occasions - can just about manage to be frivolous too :-)

I FEEL PRETTY (West Side Story)

MARIA
I feel pretty,
Oh, so pretty,
I feel pretty and witty and bright!
And I pity
Any girl who isn't me tonight.

I feel charming,
Oh, so charming
It's alarming how charming I feel!
And so pretty
That I hardly can believe I'm real.

See the pretty girl in that mirror there:
Who can that attractive girl be?
Such a pretty face,
Such a pretty dress,
Such a pretty smile,
Such a pretty me!

I feel stunning
And entrancing,
Feel like running and dancing for joy,
For I'm loved
By a pretty wonderful boy!

GIRLS
Have you met my good friend Maria,
The craziest girl on the block?
You'll know her the minute you see her,
She's the one who is in an advanced state of shock.

She thinks she's in love.
She thinks she's in Spain.
She isn't in love,
She's merely insane.

It must be the heat
Or some rare disease,
Or too much to eat
Or maybe it's fleas.

Keep away from her,
Send for Chino!
This is not the
Maria we know!

Modest and pure,
Polite and refined,
Well-bred and mature
And out of her mind!

MARIA
I feel pretty,
Oh, so pretty
That the city should give me its key.
A committee
Should be organized to honor me.

GIRLS
La la la la . . .

MARIA
I feel dizzy,
I feel sunny,
I feel fizzy and funny and fine,
And so pretty,
Miss America can just resign!

GIRLS
La la la la . . .

MARIA
See the pretty girl in that mirror there:

GIRLS
What mirror where?

MARIA
Who can that attractive girl be?

GIRLS
Which? What? Where? Whom?

MARIA
Such a pretty face,
Such a pretty dress,
Such a pretty smile,
Such a pretty me!

GIRLS
Such a pretty me!

ALL
I feel stunning
And entrancing,
Feel like running and dancing for joy,
For I'm loved
By a pretty wonderful boy!

Music by Leonard Bernstein, lyrics by Stephen Sondheim.

Actually, there is nothing better to boost one's self-esteem in my experience, than laughter and applause from an appreciative audience.When people say it is like a drug that's true and the reason why those who are past their " sell-by date " Like Bruce Forsyth and yours truly,find it difficult to quit.
Please feel free to shout " Encore,Encore !! " if my comment finds favour.

Fetch, what have we just witnessed Skebbie doing here?
a) displaying his 'special' brand of humour
b) showing his creative side
c) letting his hair down
d) all of the above

What I wouldn't give to witness him performing a live version of that in the style of Jack Nicholson and Adam Sandler. Priceless ...

ENCORE!! ENCORE!!

To be honest, Fetch, my "encore" and slow ironic clapping probably sounds as though it's coming from a single soul up at the back of an outdoor amphitheatre in the Peloponnese :-)

Naturally I concur in principle, but with reservations. We can't all be like Brucie (admirable though the guy is) because being an entertainer is in his blood, and applause is like oxygen to him. Sure a little compliment gives anyone a boost, but to me - at least - it's always "qualified": I think SAS hit it on the head when he talked about the value of self-depreciation. I can never lose sight of reality, but I often wonder whether our Brucie does? Is he so totally into himself that he can't see the doppelganger that lurks within him: that of a besuited cadaver that almost reeks of formalin already ? :-)

Thanks for that Skebbie!! I will have a spring in my step and a smile on my face for the rest of the day as i will be singing that (not out loud) inside my mind all day.

I quite like me today.
Yes,I think i'm ok :-)

Luv2: Yes indeed, you hit the right ironic nuance in my delivery :-)

Very good Skebbie ! I now have you pencilled in as a " closet " Jet or Shark !
Here is another extract from Musical Theatre.You judge whether it is in praise of self-worth ,or subtle self-deprecation.

" Now take for example my case
I've a bright intellectual brain.
In all London city
There's no one so witty
I've thought so again and again.
I've a highly intelligent face
My features cannot be denied.
To say so were treason
You ask me the reason ?--
I'm diffident,modest and shy !
If you wish in the world to advance
Your merits you're bound to enhance.
You must stir it and stump it
And blow your own trumpet
Or,trust me,you haven't a chance !

" Ruddigore " Music Sir Arthur Sullivan,Lyrics W.S.Gilbert

Fetch: Sounds to me like the qualifications needed to be one of those unpleasant candidates who appear in The Apprentice :-)

I was always in a quandary about whether to be a Shark of a Jet, but I thought George Chakiris was cool at the time :-)

Well Skebbie. I knew Natalie Wood when she wouldn't. So there !

Fetch, "there's nothing better to boost one's self esteem than laughter and applause from an appreciative audience."
I still recall how if felt when I played The Virgin Mary in a school nativity (1975?) when the audience laughed (including my gran) because I dropped poor baby Jesus on his head. It wasn't my fault though ... It was that darn Angel Gabriel who stepped on the back of my dress.


Funtimes, "Great Blog"
Wow, thank you very much. That means a lot coming from an esteemed blogger such as yourself and I am truly humbled. I try hard to make them enjoyable for all to read, but they are nowhere near as enjoyable, interesting or informative as yours. x
(See ... that's me being self-depreciating).


Shyboy, a tabloid editor ... interesting

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so they say.
You are a beauty , a sexy beauty, believe x

"When you arise in the morning, think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive, to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love."
― Marcus Aurelius, Meditations

I've been trying to think of this quote since this blog was posted. If you ever don't feel on top of the world just remember these words, realise how lucky you are and start loving yourself and everything around you.

I came close four times in the Vietnam War and lost a leg,so I had to over come a lot over the years. I had women walking down the street with her child and she saw me, picked her kid up covered the eyes and ran across the street. You know what I did I laugh at her because she she was the cripple not me. You need to do like I do I wake up I smile and say to my self lets take on the world because I'm me and I don't care what people think. So beautiful lady be happy because you are loved even if it is by a stranger. Ted Sypko

Luv2Suc. Great to see that even at a very early age, you applied the old theatre maxim of " If you're going to make one,make a big one!"
No doubt your performance will be the only thing that is remembered from that far-distant Nativity play.
When my boy was very young,he came home from infant school and proudly showed me a picture he had drawn of the Nativity scene.The usual components were there,Holy Family, sheep,cows,donkeys,shepherds etc. but in addition, a man flying an aeroplane over the stable. " Who's that ? " I asked.He replied " Pontius the Pilot,of course ! "

Lordvader, Doghouse: Welcome to Blogland! It's always great to see new faces leaving comments.


Doghouse, thanks for sharing your story. It sums up Joe's wise words perfectly.


Fetch, it made me cry and when Joseph saw me crying, he started crying too. Is was a Nativity to be remembered ... forever!


Yey!! It's Friday and today is going to be a great day.

Luv2, we all go through periods of introspection, when we question ourselves, looks and even sanity; especially after the last six months of winter, you guys had in the UK. Even more so if you are involved in the equestrian side of things, but there is nothing wrong in a little straw or rustic aroma, if someone still finds you sexy. So never give in, never say No and never surrender. Hope to chat some time. img src="imagesadultemoticons028.gif"

Shymike: Is that another way of saying "Use it or lose it" ? :-)

Romantic horse shit wingit.

That is very true. Ironically, I have witnessed this filthy act not more than a few days ago. The dog would not stop eating and rolling in it. Concludes me to believe that its something the horse is eating....for the dog only does it with a particular pile of shit. Ha

So what is wrong with the first paragraph..... If one can be happy with this, one can be happy with the rest. I smell of horses too, sometimes, but a shower goes a long way, especially if it is shared....img src="imagesadultemoticons030.gif"