The start of the journey and respect to the brave

4:20 am Tuesday, 18^th February, 2014

My wife and I have both been pleasantly surprised at how much we have enjoyed our journey into the lifestyle. But like so many others we came with many fears. We are slowly working through most of these fears and are re-gauging them all the time. We are also learning that Some of these fears may never subside. My biggest fear was the risk of something going awry on this journey of sexual freedom and losing my wife in the aftermath. We are both overtly sexual people and have even surprised ourselves with the things we have said to each other after too many bottles of wine. However, for me the equation was always simple, the risk of destroying the relationship didn't outweigh the intrigue of trying it. It took many sober (and sometimes awkward) conversations to lay out the ground rules and to consider the hypotheticals before we wrapped our heads around the idea of sharing ourselves with other people. Then it begged another important question, would we allow ourselves to drift into taking advantage of an opportunity, if one ever presented itself; with the right people, right mood, right location, right blood alcohol level, etc, etc... Or would we take a less passive approach and seek out these opportunities ourselves. Suffice it to say, we chose the latter.

This brings us to our next fear, the rest of the world... My hat goes off to those of you brave enough to post pictures in this new and scary place. And not just the naughty ones with no identifiable markings. The truly brave are the proud few that have the gumption to post a head shot and live without fear of judgement or persecution. As much as we appreciate what pictures can do to add flavour to a profile, we are just not there yet...

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	6:51 am Sunday, 20^th April, 2014 Jimmygoingdown I'm very curious about how this lifestyle started for you guys. I'm very attracted to it but my wife isn't. She's worried mostly about loosing each other somehow. I have to admit the concern crossed my mind a bit. Was there one of you that resisted the idea? If so, would you mind sharing your story about how you two came together and joined the lifestyle? Jimmy
	5:26 am Monday, 21^st April, 2014 CinnamonGinger Good evening Jimmy. Cinnamon read some of your blogs a little while back and thinks that you and your wife must have something pretty special if your dark side didn't send her running for the hills. In some ways I would say that you have started "swinging" emotionally. You have opened up to her and admitted that you would like to try something new and different. That part is scary as hell. In our case, our similar drunken dialog eventually (and in our case, I mean years) led to a sober conversation about would this be something we could actually go through with. Trust, openness, honesty and acceptance are the foundations you need before you jump in. It took a strong and loving woman to understand and accept your fantasies. Be prepared to support her fantasies, even if they are completely foreign to you and even if they don't lead you into the lifestyle. If one partner is only half willing, the lifestyle will tear you apart. For things to "work" the physical aspects of the lifestyle need to follow the emotional support from each other. My wife and I are certainly not veterans at this, and in the limited time that we have accepted that we are swingers, the one thing that we can tell you is that everyone is in the lifestyle for different reasons. Cinnamon and I have also found that some people in the lifestyle are not in it for what we consider to be "healthy" reasons. However, Regardless of the reasons that people are here, the most common thread that we have found is that most people are very accepting of the fact that we are all different. I find the only thing "like-minded" about any of us is that we are all comfortable with the fact that we are perverts. As I said before, we got here by opening up to each other about things we wanted to try in half drunk, hypothetical conversations. From there, we googled a lot of stuff together, laid some ground rules and safe words and finally Headed to a local swing club. Our first visit to a club was very pg rated, but we really enjoyed the people we met and the unreserved conversation. Much like your wife, our hesitations were based on the risk of destroying our relationship. It was a real fear for both of us and speaking for myself, the benefits of enjoying the lifestyle weren't worth the risk of losing her. That said, we both have enjoyed our journey here. I hope you both enjoy wherever your journey takes you. Ginger.
	7:24 am Monday, 21^st April, 2014 Jimmygoingdown Scary as hell is an understatement. It took me two days to figure out how to even start the conversation. But it was the best thing I ever did. It's great being open to her. It has brought us closer I think. Thank you so much for your response.... Reading it has convinced me, what I suspected, that it will take time and patients on my part. And that we both need to be 100% on board with the idea before anything. If she is absolutely not with it, then I need to forget about the idea, or loose her. We have been together for almost 20 years now and my attraction to the lifestyle isn't worth loosing what we have. Thanks again for your comments. Jimmy.

Blog Introduction

CinnamonGinger

Couple (30s) interested in exploring what the lifestyle has to offer.