A recent blog about sexual appetite/interest has had me thinking a lot about sex (some things never change). In particular, I've been thinking about the type of sex that I really, really enjoy, which I suppose could be described as fairly typical.
I said 'typical', not 'boring'. You know, the sort of sex you have when you just fancy a shag, but don't fancy the cherry on the top. I'm talking about the basic kind with no frills and if I had to define it further, I would say that exciting sex is equivalent to a ten-course taster menu at Michel Roux's Le Gavroche and what I would call a basic 'typical' shag is a bacon butty for breakfast, lunch and dinner.
I love bacon butties just as much as a fancy ten-course taster menu. Know what I mean?
It simply begins like this:
"Fancy a shag?"
"OK."
You've got to admit that there's a certain beauty and simplicity to it. It's not overworked or ever, ever, EVER prescriptive. For example:
"Fancy a shag?"
"Yes, if we do it in the shower." Or
"Fancy a shag?"
"No, but I'd love you to use my vibrator on me and I'll give you a blowjob."
In short, "Fancy a shag?" tells me that he's feeling horny and asks me if I am too. The rest is up for grabs, so to speak and the best part is, as soon as it begins, it's about to end.
This is an 'everyday' shag and something much better than a wank. There's no pretence or trying to impress each other or even making an effort to get each other off. This is about us doing it because we both NEED to do it and because we are both more than eager to feel those first signs of an explosive orgasm.
So, in my humble opinion (yes, I can be humble), what I call typical sex certainly isn't boring and my ooo's, ahhh's and loud moans of "oh yes!" are a sign of satisfaction and fast relief.
Whilst a taster menu at Le Gavroche (if you can get a reservation) would, without doubt, always be a pleasure, sometimes I just want a bacon butty. Something I can eat standing up in the kitchen, drop crumbs on the floor and forget to put the brown sauce back in the cupboard afterwards. It's everyday ... it's typical ... it's nothing very fancy ... but it is undeniably and simply delicious.
7:46 am Thursday, 16th January, 2014
Skebbie
Couldn't help smiling at the thought of a humble Luv2 :-) |
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8:41 am Thursday, 16th January, 2014
Skebbie
"PM me with offers ... " |
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8:44 am Thursday, 16th January, 2014
rigger101uk
Mmm bacon or hand shandy? Tricky. |
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9:20 am Thursday, 16th January, 2014
averagejoe99
Can't beat a Nutella sandwich ..... |
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7:45 pm Thursday, 16th January, 2014
Luv2sucU
I think some of you get it: Sometimes the best sex is the sex that you need right now ... OMG Oh Yes Yes Yes!! |
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3:51 am Friday, 17th January, 2014
Skebbie
"but it has had Michel Roux's hands and talent all over it"
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4:49 am Friday, 17th January, 2014
Luv2sucU
"Yes, but can he make a cup of tea halfway up a rock face ?? |
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4:58 am Friday, 17th January, 2014
Luv2sucU
Was it good? |
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5:11 am Friday, 17th January, 2014
Skebbie
Ron: I suggest you start a food delivery service and extend your territory as far as Stratford on Avon. You have the wheels already, so you have a head start :-) Also there seem to be some very hungry people down there. |
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5:22 am Friday, 17th January, 2014
Luv2sucU
A bacon butty delivery service? That sounds expensive ;-) |
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6:03 am Friday, 17th January, 2014
Skebbie
I'm sure Ron would waive the delivery overheads (he needs the business as much as you need to fill yourself). Besides, why restrict yourself to bacon butties? |
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6:21 am Friday, 17th January, 2014
Luv2sucU
Ron, let's get something clear - I'm always right ;-) |
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6:55 am Friday, 17th January, 2014
Skebbie
Irrespective of the modus operandi, I think we're agreed that we all appreciate being (ful)filled. If you're sticking to your "right now" policy, though, I suspect meals on wheels would not be suitably rapid enough. Probably something along the lines of Willie Wonka's teleporter or Scottie's beam. (Did I ever mention that Ron bears more than a passing resemblance to Jean-Luc Picard, so he might be better able than most to facilitate an "instant" bacon butty ??) |
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10:32 am Friday, 17th January, 2014
Skebbie
Ron: That would be a Cumberland sausage, of course, right? Everyone knows they are longest, thickest and meatiest in UK :-) |
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10:33 am Friday, 17th January, 2014
Skebbie
Ron: I think it's about time you got yourself a black polo-neck jumper. Your time has finally come :-) |
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12:33 pm Friday, 17th January, 2014
averagejoe99
Could Ron be a superhero? Sausage Man or Bacon Buttie Bloke? ..... Delivering fulfillment wherever it is required! |
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3:13 pm Friday, 17th January, 2014
averagejoe99
Something that's allows easy access to his meaty products and can make him stand out in a crowd CurvyB ....... Sound ok? |
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4:51 pm Friday, 17th January, 2014
Luv2sucU
"Easy access to meaty products." |
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5:00 pm Friday, 17th January, 2014
Luv2sucU
Apologies ... just noticed how many times I used the word 'shag' in this blog. My mom would be so proud. |
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9:05 pm Friday, 17th January, 2014
Luv2sucU
Ahh ... It's a bit 'red' isn't it? I just need to find myself a guy to ruin it. |
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12:41 am Saturday, 18th January, 2014
Skebbie
"Awesome accent macbloke most convincing x"
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1:25 am Saturday, 18th January, 2014
Skebbie
"I'm worried my blog may have offended some of our veggie members" |
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6:51 am Saturday, 18th January, 2014
Luv2sucU
Hi Jasper - always nice to see a new face :-). I'm with you on the tofu. It's a bit like eating congealed baby sick. Although to be fair, baby sick probably has more flavour. |
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7:01 am Saturday, 18th January, 2014
Luv2sucU
Mac, "Then in the tent for a shag ... well .. i can dream."
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10:31 am Saturday, 18th January, 2014
FitOlderMan
OK, here's another line of thought. I find myself wondering if Luv2 is perfecting her journalistic style while writing these blogs. Has everyone noticed how she carefully crafts her wording building from a simple opening question. And it gets better each time. You're some lady :D |
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11:49 am Saturday, 18th January, 2014
Skebbie
Just finished a delicious bowl of "marbo dofu", which is a sort of Jappo-Chinese chilli con carne, except it contains baby sick instead of the beans. Yummy !! |
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4:05 pm Saturday, 18th January, 2014
Luv2sucU
FOM, I carefully craft everything I do. Haha: if only that was true. |
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8:49 pm Saturday, 18th January, 2014
FitOlderMan
You must be a natural then Luv2 ;) |
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9:12 pm Saturday, 18th January, 2014
Luv2sucU
"You must be a natural then" |
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10:07 pm Saturday, 18th January, 2014
Luv2sucU
I regularly use Mac's protein based facial products. Don't blush. You have nothing to be embarrassed about; they're the best. |
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6:24 am Tuesday, 21st January, 2014
Luv2sucU
"Awesome accent macbloke most convincing x" |
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6:49 am Tuesday, 21st January, 2014
Skebbie
May wee. Onny swakki mally ponce silver plate. |
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8:36 pm Tuesday, 21st January, 2014
Luv2sucU
Gone, gone, gone ...
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8:49 pm Tuesday, 21st January, 2014
Luv2sucU
Poor Mac, he's been eaten again!! Why am I wondering if the blog monster is a girl or a guy? Does it matter? Such a mystery ...
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4:46 am Wednesday, 22nd January, 2014
Luv2sucU
Iancaisteal, would you like that on a lightly toasted muffin? |
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4:47 am Wednesday, 22nd January, 2014
Luv2sucU
Iancaisteal, would you like that on a lightly toasted muffin? |
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4:48 am Wednesday, 22nd January, 2014
Luv2sucU
Iancaisteal, would you like that on a lightly toasted muffin? |
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4:51 am Wednesday, 22nd January, 2014
Luv2sucU
How on earth did I manage three posts in a row? Clearly the thought of a bacon muffin this morning got to me. |
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3:46 pm Friday, 24th January, 2014
FitOlderMan
It's the muffin that got to me |