Penises: The truth of the matter

LOOOOL, this one is great. Thanks for sharing, and can you forward us the paper?????

"but as I have found with most male behaviour, nothing’s certain." 100% agreed.

BOOM! ....lol Luv2 is back with a bang! Wb :-) xx

Bit confused by the sentence " by a factor so small there's practically no difference"
Us blokes have always been told "every little helps" ..... Now one of those phrases must be wrong ..... Mustn't it?


You're a good devils advocate Luv2 ;-) lol

EG, Hmm, predictably unpredictable.


Gingered, not so sure. I would definitely be busy giving the cock marks out of ten.

Joe, There was less than a two percent difference, but trust you to focus on the 'so small' part. Awww ...
xx




Lilith, it makes you wonder how many guys would own up to being put off by fear of performance issues in that situation.

Luv2: Again, I'd be fascinated to know where you dig up all your data for these tongue-in-cheek posts :-) Sometimes I'm almost positive you're making it all up just to get a reaction :-)

However, while we're on the subject, just because a bloke happens to glance at a penis - or even admire its shape, size of characteristics - it doesn't necessarily mean he's bi. There's a big difference between looking at one, and feeling compelled to suck it or having it shoved up your arse.

I'll happily concede I enjoy looking at "big cock porn", but the pleasure I derive from it lies in the reactions of the women who are being fucked by the said organs. I have to confess that I'm particularly turned on by the sight of a petite woman being nailed balls deep by a disproportionately huge dick, and all the whimpering, screaming and twitching that results. Call it a fetish if you will.

Of course, another facet of this interest might be that Dixon gets a lot of satisfaction from knowing that he's "well up there" (if you'll excuse the expression) with the big lads of the porn world :-)

Lilith: Perhaps I should employ you as my publicity agent. I can arrange to have you paid in kind if necessary :-)

Ronald, aim high and don't be tempted to peek at the neighbour's Smart Car.

Wilf, "... as all you females admit, size matters."
It kind of does, but not as much as you'd think. As for the optical tracking; I believe NASA use the same technology so would imagine it's pretty reliable.


Skebbie, you should know that I would only ever use data from a reliable source. Academically speaking, its validity is, without doubt, reliable although I retain the right to use my creative streak during the interpretation process.

Hmm, I never did hint at guys being bi; that was not my intention. I merely inferred that guys like looking at other guys' cocks and you have agreed (self-confessed) with this. We have this in common as I like looking at cocks too :-).

Interestingly the article I read also indicated a curiousness of transgender porn, suggesting that straight guys enjoyed viewing naked girls with extra bits in their pants.


On the subject of porn, I'm with Lilith; messy cream pies with generous helping of sprinkles and the odd cherry.

Noel, " ... natural curiosity as where you stand in the order of things."

Do you really think this explains it? A pecking order for peckers ... interesting theory.
Guys are just so competitive, don't you think?

Great blog posts here. I do agree that most blokes like to look at other guys cocks, but I think it's mainly to compare themselves, as others have mentioned.
I love watching porn that shows a woman being screwed too, more than just seeing naked women. The sight of a cock entering either end, lol, is so horny.
A nice cock being sucked on and wanked is even better though.. it shows a woman's attitude I think. Lots of women lovers love sex, but not always sucking or handling a cock.. so to see a woman doing so with confidence is fantastic.
Nice to hear Lileth' saying it's what we do with it.. that counts.. there's hope for us 'shorties' then, lol. (I hope...) :)

Thank god! A decent blog instead of the erzatzramblings veering and hauling between why I am a great shag to I am a superdom and everthing else is pants...

Sorry.

Rantlette.

At this point I should empasise that I refer to non-rigger blogs. I have yet to venture into actually starting one of these things. On reflection there may be nothing worse than a non-blogging blog pundit..

Right then, to the exam question. Skebbie - I expect you are a head turner even in the chaps shower. In this case it would merely be us fellas allowing ourselves a small green "lucky bugger" moment, rather than any rampant homoerotic lusting. As someone who regularly took his clobber off in the company of other men (called in some circles a naked bar) I consider this to be entirely natural; gladiatorial even.

The same goes in regards to multi partner rumpy pumpy. Lilith - I was born to work alongside male colleagues in support of threesome fantasy realisation exercises. I consider it excellent fun!

I sense that there may be some truth in the survey though, as I often (these days) idly click open a chatting chaps profile to have a dekko at his john thomas. I think I do it to see if the cock matches the chat. Odd? I think so....

Anyway the long and the short of it (if I may use such an expression) is that cocks are pretty visual things and long may that remain so. That said I do enjoy hiding mine...

It never bothers me in the slightest. In fact there is nothing more stimulating than seeing a nice big hard cock exploding, be it MF, MMF, MM for that matter especially if I have made it happen hehehehe

Agree with Rigger about being able to indulge in a decent blog at last: almost a month after the Great Schism. I think it's appropriate at this point to have a minute's silence in memory of absent friends :-)

If it's any consolation, I can assure everyone that Dixon looks completely normal in the showers, and totally blends in with the crowd. I suppose that's what makes penises so fascinating: one never knows how they are going to metamorphose.

I'd disagree about competitiveness, though. There's a 1-10 scale for everything, and one has to recognize that something will always be bigger and better. I think it's more a question of developing either a philosophical attitude, or a sense of relief that one is at least at the upper end of the range :-)

Thanks for the comments. It's good to be back on the blogs. I didn't stay away through choice :-(

Not that I would know, for sure, but I struggle to believe that comparing through competitiveness is the main motivation.

The article in question suggests that many men experience some kind of endorphin rush when viewing male bits leading to sexual arousal.

Frisky: That's hilarious - but there could be a grain of truth in it :-) Inspired.

Insult the lady drivers blah, blah, blah ...
I don't know, I'm out of the game for a couple of weeks and I miss a blossoming bromance between you two.



Do you think men get hung up on size because they think that's what their female partners want - bigger and better?
It's easy and sooo tempting for us girls to say "Size doesn't matter", "It's what you do with it that counts". In other words, "Stop trying to live up to patriarchal standards of masculinity".

But what if those standards are not what us girls think they are? Perhaps the fixation on penises is more homoerotic but not all guys seem to be able to critically analyse themselves and their sexuality to recognise this.

Luv2: Me and Frisky are just platonic friends :-)

I went through umpteen years of marriage, and intermittent dating before that, without ever being conscious or even interested in how big I was in the great penis scheme of things. Perhaps I was reluctant to face the issue. I was a very late sexual developer and got endless piss taken out of me by my peers, and even by my sadistic gym master who delighted in singling me out for ribbing in the showers. So yes I guess you could say I had a complex about my masculinity in my late teens and early 20s.

That all changed when I started adult dating, and I soon got lots of positive feedback, which in turn reinforced my confidence. I see my "success" (if you want to call it that) in later life a sort of payback for the indignities I endured when a lad, and I often think back to those guys at school and wonder about their current sex lives and marriages with a quiet titter. I regard it as a sort of divine justice :-)

There's no doubt in my mind that I wouldn't have met as many women via the net if it hadn't been for Dixon. He's eye-catching, and then that gives me a foot in the door and a chance to present other aspects of my character. Of course it's not just cock size women are looking for: having the right attitude and character is just as important. But if I'd had a Wall's chipolata instead of Dixon, I'd have had a pretty boring time on here. It's as simple as that.

Tomkcat, you are right about the experts. What better expert witnesses for this subject than those found on a sex site :-)


It was never my intention to make this blog about cock size (we've been there and done that); the focus was on guys looking at other guys bits and pieces. Interestingly although perhaps not surprisingly, it seems that the male of the species among us will not let us escape that debate.

Rigger touched on an interesting point earlier that got me thinking. Why would guys be interested in peeking at profile pics to check out whether or not other guys live up to their cock size declarations? Salami or a pepperoni stick ... why does it matter? Why not check out other attributes like 'hair' or 'what hair'?

If the motivation for looking is really about competition as some of you suggest, what is the prize? Is it about self-assurance (phew, my cock's ok) or is it about eg competing for female attention? If it's the latter, guys you've got it so wrong ... us girls have some interests beyond the cock (ok, not many ... a few). See Lilith's earlier comment.

I was scrolling through the internet this morning and found a piece about male sexuality called 'Crotch Watchers' (hey, it's research). It suggested that using the same eye tracking technology used for analysing the speed and positioning of baseballs, men and women were shown photographs of sportsmen CLOTHED. Results: Women focussed their attention on faces and hands; men focussed their eyes equally on faces and yes, you guessed ... crotches! When asked for a verbal account, women correctly said they looked at the faces yet men unanimously said they looked at football boots, bat, sports kit etc.

So there we have it ... Guys have a conscious and subconscious fixation on cocks. Surely there must be a biological explanation for this.

porky: It's a (not so) long story that was covered here a few months back. Suffice to say it's named tongue-in-cheek after a local landmark in my hometown, and was coined by an ex-GF.

TC: I think you're right regarding personal female opinions about what constitutes an "acceptable" size. As Lilith has pointed out, there *is* such a thing as anatomical incompatibility, and I think even the Kama Sutra suggests there are certain ideal yonilingam size combinations for maximum pleasure (although the details are not to hand). Having a big one is not necessarily a merit, but on balance I think it gives more options than having a small one.

Luv2: Would you say women fret about the size of their breasts as much as men seem to be obsessed with their penises? There seems to be an awful lot of breast augmentation surgery around in the West, whereas over here in Japan it's extremely rare. Aside from the interesting topic of differences in cultural attitudes, you have to admit that at least *some* women *do* care about this. So I would suggest that men are not alone in being fixated on their organs.

I check out male and female profiles. I find the human body (mostly) beautiful and look out of curiosity. Great fun.

Porky
Dixon, Dixon ...
Fact, not fiction,
could cause some friction,
beware of addiction.

Skebbie, "Would you say women fret about the size of their breasts as much as men seem to be obsessed with their penises?"

Interesting question. Being a member of the 'bigger boobed', perhaps I'm not the best person to ask although, my personal view on this is, 'No', women are not as obsessed about their boobs as men are about cock size. I dare say that if penis enlargement was as successful, affordable and readily available as breast augmentation, there would be deluded guys up and down the country joining out-patient queues the length of the M42 for surgery.

It's not down to obsession, I think for many (not all), breast enhancements have become a fashion accessory in the same way as St Tropez fake tans, gel nails and hair extensions.

Remember the endorphin rush ... the question should be, "Do girls get the same enjoyment from looking at other girls' bits and pieces as guys do when they see another guy's cock?" Do girls peek at profiles and say "Get in ... my fanny is hairier than hers." or "Yey, I've got bigger boobies,". Hmm, I don't think so.

Wilf may be on to something with his ape theory.

Oh, and can someone please throw Lilith a penis.

Lilith, yep, I do that, but how many would then think:
"I can squirt more than her so that puts me in the upper quartile of squirters. Aren't I the feminine one?" or "Fuck me, her vagina is neater than mine. How will I ever compete?"

Bulldog chewing custard...?

That's loltastic! Haha!

I can think of a few more but fear I would lower the tone...

Was thinking about this blog topic a bit. I know I'm not a straight man (although all my friends and family think I am LOL!) but the image of the willy has creeped its way stealthily into my life over the years.

First I'd just gawp at pictures of nudey ladies, then it'd be guys and gals getting it on but I'd be concentrating on the gal, then I'd start to pay more attention to the guy, and I'm now I've reached the stage where I very often think, sod it, I just want to look at a guys wanger for a bit.

I'm still very attentive to all those wonderfully glamorous porn ladies but these days it's more likely I'll be looking for fashion ideas and make up tips :-D

A word on crotch spotting. If I may.

One should not confuse crotch spotting with cock watching. The two are entirely different. The latter, which is the basis of the blog, has been well dicussed, albeit that no-one yet has really put their finger on the reasons for it.

The former (crotch watching) is much simpler. It may be some primitive male throwback, it may (in my case at least) be something that comes from frequenting rough houses. But crotch watching is in fact a latent defensive ploy, based on the idea that if some some hand to hand mullarkey were to ensue order can be restored by an appropriately delivered blow (knee, foot, baseball bat, rifle butt, bar stool) to the appropriate neredowells' crotchly ballbag area. As Wellington said, time spent in reconnaisance is seldom wasted.

Like Skebbie I had no idea whatsoever what I was in posession of and quite franky didn't give two hoots about it (still don't for that matter). As far as I could make out it fitted every fanny that it met perfectly.

That said I think that it is important (in the name of science etc) to keep checking to see that these cockfanny tolerances remain acceptable using as many lady volunteers from the audience as possible.

So please give out generously.

A word on crotch spotting. If I may.

One should not confuse crotch spotting with cock watching. The two are entirely different. The latter, which is the basis of the blog, has been well dicussed, albeit that no-one yet has really put their finger on the reasons for it.

The former (crotch watching) is much simpler. It may be some primitive male throwback, it may (in my case at least) be something that comes from frequenting rough houses. But crotch watching is in fact a latent defensive ploy, based on the idea that if some some hand to hand mullarkey were to ensue order can be restored by an appropriately delivered blow (knee, foot, baseball bat, rifle butt, bar stool) to the appropriate neredowells' crotchly ballbag area. As Wellington said, time spent in reconnaisance is seldom wasted.

Like Skebbie I had no idea whatsoever what I was in posession of and quite franky didn't give two hoots about it (still don't for that matter). As far as I could make out it fitted every fanny that it met perfectly.

That said I think that it is important (in the name of science etc) to keep checking to see that these cockfanny tolerances remain acceptable using as many lady volunteers from the audience as possible.

So please give out generously.

Frisky, " ... the penis is the original tool and everyone knows how much men love their tools."

So true and of course, let's not forget that men do have this in common with primates although admittedly there are some guys that seem to have missed out on billions of years of evolution. ;-)

Whilst we are on this subject of primates, did you know that silverback gorillas have extremely small penises and yet they are known for their ability to monopolise harems of female gorillas? Go figure!

This wasn't meant to be about size. Have I said that before?

Blimey not used to serious blogs!

Whilst still on the subject of primates people should maybe read up on humans closest primate relative the Bonobo Chimpanzee.
So similar in some aspects it explains so much .... Although not sure the tree hanging bit will catch on, but maybe a few people on the hub May have tried it?

I think the biggest Silverback Gorillas have a big harem because they are big enough and fierce enough to beat the crap out of any other gorilla that tries to nail any of the masters girls, lol.
That being the case, having a small cock wouldn't matter a bit would it.. it could even help, because the big ape might be mad at having a little un :)

Greatly enjoyed Rigger's unique interpretation of the crotch-watching phenomenon :-) As I'm a peace-loving hippie, I have rarely frequented rough-houses and if I felt in danger I'd probably scarper rather than trying to knee someone in the nuts. I'd place my hand on my heart and say I've never felt remotely compelled to let my eyes wander down to the loins of a clothed man. On the other hand, I undress women with my eyes all the time, as I just find (attractive) female bodies fascinating.

Like Luv2, who freely admits to being well endowed herself, I have absolutely no issues with Dixon's place in the penis cosmos. I think in earlier life my insecurities were centred more on being non-sporty, non-agressive, and weedy ("why did all those other boys have to be so noisy, sweaty and aggressive?" :-). It was nothing to do with my dick. However, as I'm now aware I have nothing to complain about in that department, this may partly explain why I've never sought to acquire some of the other symbols of masculinity listed by Wilf: powerful cars, designer stubble, tats, indulging in "extreme sports" to emphasize my gung-ho, etc, etc.

While we're on the gorilla thing: have you ever noticed that blokes who spend hours bulking up to get washboard Abs and rippling biceps tend to be less blessed in other areas? Yes they could probably beat the crap out of me, and if that's their thing then good luck to them. However, I don't feel compelled to go down that road for some reason :-)

Luv2: (postscript)
I find it hard to credit that breast implants are merely a fashion accessory. Surely women wouldn't undergo such a ghastly (in my opinion) procedure unless they felt insecure and dissatisfied with what Nature has given them. Perhaps along the lines of what you say about penis size not being everything for a woman, I can assure you that from the viewpoint of this man, breast size is only a minor issue. For me, it's more to do with their shape, and the overall aesthetic balance in relation to the rest of the body (i.e. proportional impact). Most Japanese women have small tits, but they're also generally slim and look great.

noel: No actually. Luv2 and Lilith have perved a few times, though :-)
Most of my views are from couples, so I'm assuming it's actually the male half doing the peeping, as I suspect that for the majority of such profiles the male is running the show, or it's simply a male masquerading as a couple.

Skebbie, I am reluctant to stray into the realms of breast size (big v small etc) as I recognise that there are many women who for various reasons, including medical, require breast surgery.

My point was that there is likely to be a small percentage of women who go to extreme lengths to increase the size of their breasts due to what is deemed to be currently fashionable.

However history has taught us that fashions change and that includes what is deemed the fashionable body. Beauty is and always has been a moveable target in all cultures, not just western.

TV, porn, the music industry and, amongst other things, the front pages of fashionable mags show us in most cases that the current ideal is to be extremely tall, very thin, small hips, big boobs, large lips and a small nose. Hmm ... now ask yourself how many of those ideals can be enhanced through the skills of Harley Street surgeons these days?

I think there are many women who feel excluded from what society's stereotypical ideal of beauty. We are so used to brainwashing and having this stereotype shoved down our throats by the media etc that many assume that such features are ideally fashionable and therefore more desirable.

We forget that there was a time when smaller boobs were fashionable and women wore corsets to flatten them and in the 1920's the ideal of beauty for the flappers was the flat chest. In the same way there was a time when women hid there unfashionable slim hips underneath bustles.

Now it seems we all need lips like Angelina and tits like Jodie and guess what ... you can get them on a bogof with 5 years interest free. Bargain!

We need to avoid bowing to the pressures of the media, be ourselves and prize the features we were born with. Remember, large noses, big bums, round tummies, bit tits, small tits, small mouths, big lips, straight hair and curly hair have all been fashionable at one time.

And guy's, you need to remember that there are species who walk this planet that consider small cocked males to be worthy of great leaders.

Perving at pics? Hands up; guilty as charged ;-)

Keeping in with the blog topic, perhaps the question should be: "How many guys would like to look but reluctant to because you would know that they peeked?"

Hmm, Interesting ...

By way of an apology for my appalling spelling (I'm still blaming autocorrect), I own up to visiting all your profiles today.

Think of it as a group hug coz i fink ur orl marvlus x
Phew ... now I need a cold shower



Note: orl autocorrects to Orlando and then oral.

Luv2: 'scuse my technological ignorance, but are you blogging from a smartphone? I can't tear myself away from a solid QWERTY keyboard and I never use auto-correct because it's a pain in the arse a lot of the time. OK I may make the odd typo (especially when one over the eight....see the current booze blog), but as I edit for a living I find that spell-checkers etc. are less than helpful, especially when dealing with science, so I keep the bloody things disabled.

This week a trial into a certain media empire has enlightened us about the feelings of one female employee's opinion of another's appendage - "you have a gorgeous cock".
I do not believe I will ever witness the said gorgeous cock but I know I too have a gorgeous cock and I would not be surprised if someone's eyes were drawn to it.

Glorious2 - welcome to my blog and thanks for your comment. I'll be able to read it properly when the *** fairies have finished their shift.


Skebbie, I'm an Apple addict. IPads: a blessing and a curse (a bit like big boobs), but luvin my Qwerty bluetooth keyboard. Still doesn't help with random autocorrect problems though. I just need to wear my reading specs and proof read more.

Talking of the meeejah I used my Guardian line in the tub the other day. It fell flat on its arse which tells us a great deal.

As for ladies chest sizes I am as ambivalent on that score as I am on man-inches. I am much more fascinated by shape and the overall look rather than size. I am equally fascinated by nipples too, although in this respect I am formulating a proper British Standard scale, ranging from "Morris Minor" to "Scammell" (relating to wheel nuts - eg she had nipples like scammell wheel nuts). This will be an important step forwards in this particular area, although there will be disquiet it some areas. For instance I can see Lambeth Palace lobbying to ensure that the Chapel Coat Peg appears on the scale, whilst there will be a number of pushy european and asian vehicle makers that will want to ensure that their products are equally visible (although that said I think Audi would be better placed to feature in a spectrum of butt-plug sizes as their products can regularly be found trying to drive up my arse)

Anyway, until my work re. nipples is complete I will have to rely on the ancient rigger adage regarding the ideal nipple. Big enough to hang your hat on, but not your umbrella.

Let the nipple discussion commence.

Oh and if I may - a clarifiaction of an earlier comment of mine regarding me clicking other chaps profiles to see if the cock matched my expecations. For Luv2's benefit this is not in order to make a simple comparison between declared cock size and actual, but a much more subtle (stop laughing...) attempt by yours truly to get a measure of the personality of the individual, shy, extrovert, skulky, sulky, happy, gregarious, sociopath, psycopath, I submit that there is much to be inferred from the way a chap presents himself in the trouser department.

I may write a book on it. And get someone well known to do the foreword.

Prof Brian Cox wold be good.

Riggs*, the meeeja's got a lot to answer for, including the Guardian where many harebrained interpretations are available.

I've got to admit to looking at profiles for the same reason**. You can get a feel for personality ... sometimes. Sometimes, I just do it for amo so I can take the piddle too.


* Riggs is safer than the autocorrect fr'bigger. Wtf does that even mean? I must ask Apple.

** I also look at cock pics. I see it as 'window shopping when the sales are on': You may pick up a bargain or two but when you get them home you realise you got the wrong size and can't get your money back. That's a joke by the way coz we all know size doesn't matter ;-)

Luv2: *Clearly Apple know something more about Rigger that we do :-)

Must confess to looking at male profiles now and again, but it's mostly either to get ideas or to prove to my satisfaction that mine is better (haha....). I also do it to scavenge their female "friends", because sometimes it's a good way of finding out which women are genuinely active on the site. So if any bloke finds me peeping, don't worry guys I'm not staring at your crotch (I don't need to :-)

Agree with Rigger on the nipples issue, and I definitely have a "type" :-) Perhaps more on that later ;-)

" ... scavenge their female "friends." Ooh, very interesting. Thanks for being honest. You have adopted a sneaky mating strategy similar to the stag.

I wonder if any other guys would own up to doing this.


I know lots of you read the blogs and prefer not to leave comments (which is fine), but it would be great to hear some other views - no matter how brief.


I wish I made a more interesting career choice; anthropologists must have so much fun.

Skebbie, are we to look forward to a nipple themed blog from you and Rigger sometime soon then? Perhaps you could time it with the publication of Rigg's book (Nipples for Dummies).

Clearly Riggs is well advanced on his project so I'm happy to let him lead the way. But by way of a teaser, I have to confess that I love wide areolas because somehow they make breasts look much more succulent and ripe. If the nipple itself is thick, fleshy and highly erectile, that gets extra points. So it seems Lilith satisfies at least half of those criteria (assuming, of course, that the *nipple itself* is not the size of a dinner plate: you can have too much of a good thing :-) C'mon Luv2, are you going to give us a teaser about your own attributes?? I've bared all on my profile, and I'll raise you one areola.

Re: "mating strategies", I suppose my scavenger approach is simply that which is best suited to my slightly weedy, cerebral and arty-farty character. At Uni I used to hang around with my rugby-playing alpha-male mates who invariably attracted a bevvy of groupies, and I'd wait until they'd lobotomized themselves with 10-pints-plus before moving in on the women, who by that time were invariably becoming bored with the 27th rendition of Eskimo Nell :-) All I had to do then was to enunciate the magic words "excuse my friends", and I was playing to a captive audience :-)

A teaser? Cheeky!

I gave in to the motorbike photo; no way am I giving in to a nipple. There are times when some things are best left to the imagination ;-)

Maybe a nipple glimpse to the highest bidder ...

OK: My bid is a weekend with Dixon. Can't say fairer than that :-)

Thought I best comment on this topic although I'm no expert on the subject , far from it !!!!!. Did a little experiment regards this earlier today as I was in the showers at the gym and was I tempted in anyway to have a peek at other blokes cocks. Simple answer is no ........Trouble was there was none to stare at :p

Photos of nipples are of no use whatsoever Luv2 so no need to let fly the nips of war. That said for the opportunity to size up the real McCoy I venture the John Deere.

Anyway leaving aside my early monday evening erotic fantasy and returning to my important work I suspect that in this day and age there might be scope for 3d laser mapping but until that sort of technology is perfected I will continue my groundbreaking study by hand as it were.

There is a teensy bit of me that is a bit concerned that I may have declared my interests too soon though, as all it has done is stoke my curiosity to a fever pitch (you can tell when my curiosity is stroked to a fever pitch as I may well put my mug of tea down).

I now really, really want to see (and test) a spidernipple.

I mean let slip....The bard would be spinning..

Choices, choices .... Who's holding the gavel?


One of the reasons I find myself unable to resist visiting the blogs is how else would I find myself fantasising about huge chimneys, men taking showers, riding a tractor naked whilst and thinking about the profound complexities of life, the universe, anthropology and the wonders of quantum physics. Then I ask myself ...

"Why do men have nipples?"

A crank handle? Sexy ...

Haha Lilith ...

Urban Dictionary definition: Chitty chitty chitty bang bang - a sex term.

"Man, I am fittin' to pull a funky bit o' the chitty chitty bang bang on that nice piece of whore bitch trash over there."

Truly Scrumptious would be a fine addition to any bang bang.

Isn't it natural to look at a prodigious member and whateverwhomever is in its line of trajectory? Rather like the lion and gazelle in full flight. One is meaningless without the other, but together they are mesmerising!

Wilf, I am sure you would suffocate if I sat on your face. Could I live with that on my conscience? Perhaps ... ;-0


It could be truly scrumptious ...

Wilf, perhaps some form of snorkel (vibrating) might prolong your mutual pleasure?

Fairgame, Wilf is an incorrigible flirt and your encouragement will only make him worse ... or do I mean better?



Lilith, the toot sweets in the movie were, for some reason, named after the French saying tout de suite which means right now or hurry up (or something like that).
Clearly Truly was getting impatient for a bit of Dick van Dyke.

Are dick and dyke natural bedfellows?

Ahhh those lovely films

I can hear the tunes in my head...

supercallousflagellisticexpertcunnilingus....

Bloyme Meery!

Blo you Rigger, that sounds something quite atrocious :-)

And yet practically perfect in every way!

" yet practically perfect in every way"
and the bits that aren't perfect are flipping awesome!

Ahh, Mary Poppins that much loved and well known philosopher who said, "Although we adore men individually, we agree that as a group they're rather stupid."

Mac, I like the individually wrapped ones - Toblerones that is, not nipples.

I also forgot to mention that I could do with my chimney sweeping. Does anyone know where I could find a Dick van what's his face?

Luv2: Actually it was Glynis Johns the suffragette :-) I've had all those films drilled into my subconscious after watching videos of them about 20,000 times with my kids.

Moving swiftly on to Chitty-Chitty Bang-Bang, I always thought a modified version of the Child Catcher - the "Slut Catcher" - would be a useful person to employ, driving his cage and team of horses up and down the land, doing my bidding. Desperate times on the Hub call for desperate measures :-)

Ginger: Frankly I'm baffled as to whether any gratification could be gained from crotch-staring in supermarkets. Unless a bloke is wearing skin-tight stretchy Lycra or Spandex, there's little to be seem in that area on a fully clothed guy: especially at *this* time of year when everyone is shuffling around in overcoats. If you X-ray vision, that's a different matter, of course :-)

Maybe Ginger was weighing them up for attach (Rigger style).

I've got to stay away from horses; no more riding for me for a while ... sad (and painful) times :-(

Close your mouth please Skebbie, you're not a codfish.
;-)

Attack!!

Luv2: Can I recommend Alan the chimneysweep, who lives two cottages down from me in Yorkshire? A friend for 10 years, he's often entertained me in the pub with lurid tales of his exploits with his long extendable brush up the flues of frustrated housewives.
Good luck may well rub off if you "shakes 'ands wiv 'im" :-)

As Dixon is named after a very tall chimney, his presence on this thread is not entirely irrelevant either :-) The trouble is, no-one has yet designed a brush long enough to to the job.

Luv2: Just out of curiosity, I'd meant to ask you whether you have cleverly set up a "bot" to keep changing your main profile pic several times a day - rather like those electronic advertising hoardings at football grounds :-)

For what it's worth: One of several Japanese words for "penis" is "chin-chin". So in the context of Dixon, his etymological origin, and Mary Poppins, the phrase "chin-chiminy chin-chin-cheree" has astonishingly relevant significance :-)

No, I just object to having to take part in Hot or Not; it's demeaning. I discovered that changing your profile pic resets your ranking to zero ... Clever!

Not sure I will be able to watch Disney films in the same way ever again ;-)

I may dig out bed knobs and broomsticks today. x

I didn't even know such a system existed for pics on this site, and have never checked it - nor do I care. However, I'm willing to bet that my former profile pic got more hits than the present rather insipid one to which I was forced to change.

I'm assuming that says class act (notwithstanding asterisks). I would have to agree, even in the absence of any pictorial evidence of your nipples :-)

May I suggest 'Busy doing nothing.... ' as the theme tune?

Invisible you say.....?

Ronald, you gave me one? I missed it; those darn pain killers made me fall asleep. ;-)



Oi you lot!! You will make me blush - my nipples are not invisible ...

Lilith: do you engage in birching often? You are getting me hot under the collar :-)

Wilf: take a glance at the fancy (p)ants and maybe try a few... Suggests Baloo would fit right in on the hub.

Skebbie: just looked at the original Dixon (Cumbria). Vertiginous!

Asterisk attack: That is ...fancy (p)ants and maybe try a few...

Errrr if I could just have the teams atention for a moment...

Regarding the quest of the moment - ie Penises - The Truth of The Matter

Are we nearly there yet?

I suspect i know the answer to that one, so instead let's all declare which Disney character we would most like to behave (as in have carnal knowledge of)

I want to be that Van Dick fella and I want to sort out the flue of Luv2 (who has transmogrified into Jessica rabbit)

Going to lie down for a bit now.....

Rigger, Penises: The truth of the matter? I think we are definitely there.

It has been confirmed that guys do indeed like to look at cocks although it's fair to point out that motivations are varied: Pleasure, defence, admiration; jealousy; lust; improved self-esteem; theft (of online friends).

Men are perhaps not the simple creatures they appear to be ;-)


As for Disney characters, just imagine the fun you could have with the three Jonas Brothers. Phew ...



Mac, the thought of any penis is better than a pile of trash the size of a football pitch :-)

Rigger: Cadburys Caramel bunny. That is if I were a rabbit... Ahem.

Quite frankly, I'm a little offended that you would dare to suggest my data is a little 'dodgy'.

Tut tut tut :) x

I think Belle always suspected he was her Prince Charming and would have given him some wax strips to use ;)

Pleasure and pain ... the makings of an interesting evening ;-)

So, if you wouldn't want to be the beast, who would you be: Lumiere the candlestick, Gaston ... Urgh, or perhaps Mrs Potts?

I think it is more likely, that if they do look, it is only to check out the size of the other contenders.img src="imagesadultemoticons030.gif"

Agreed, hairy beast was a hottie :-)

Pumpkin soup?

Aww, he was a cutie mommy's boy wasn't he?
I don't believe you have a shy side by the way.

"Deep down we all have a shy side, even you."


Jojay ... I'm just misunderstood. I'm not shy, I just hide my awesomeness so I don't intimidate people. (She says with eyes lowered and blushing)

Ginger: Flaccid ... not sure why, but that word always makes me laugh. Call me immature :-)

In any case, it's even more amusing when used in the same sentence as 'Skebbie'. In my most Victor Meldrew'ish voice "I don't believe it!"

Wiki "Modesty is a mode of dress and deportment intended not to encourage sexual attraction in others; actual standards vary widely."

Yep, that's me :-)

Luv2: Are you implying you get some sort of oxymoron-like amusement from the term "flaccid Dixon"? :-)
Out of practical necessity, even Dixon finds he has to be flaccid sometimes, otherwise it would be like being permanently encumbered with a vaulting pole :-) It's not always a bed of roses being Skebbie, you know. I'm thinking of applying for a disability grant.

PS: My favourite use of the word "flaccid" is when Meryl Streep is berating Bruce Willis on the subject in "Death Becomes Her". I always think that film, although very much OTT, is an amusing indictment of the depths of artificiality to which some women will stoop in the name of "beauty" :-)

Jojay, "Your standard would appear to be quite high!"
Yep ... as high as my heels, but I may be prepared to negotiate as I can't stand up straight in them either.



Ginger, "Skebbie's mind was what i have been interested in so far".
Well, that's food for thought.
Hmm, I imagine that if you knew the contents of Skebbie's mind you would be pretty well traumatised for life (excessive indulgence in sex and Japanese alcohol).

In that case JoJay, I would choose to define negotiation as 'the art of manipulation' - in heels, of course. ;-)

Luv2Ginger: Noting that currently there is an Alter Ego blog running, I think the issue is more to do with what's in Dixon's mind than in Skebbie's :-) I'll leave you to decide who is Jekyll and who is Hyde :-)

You could try good cop bad cop instead of Jekyll and Hyde. Perhaps you could play Murtaugh to Dixon's Riggs for example (Lethal Weapon one, two and three).

First of all i would like to say! There is nothing wrong with having a crafty look at another guys willy,
I think maybe it all stems back from our child hood school days in the changing rooms, word would soon get around to who was packing etc!
Its only normal.... isnt it. I think nearly all guys or most do look!!!
Now dont get me wrong i know what i like and what i am and just completely love the female form....
But i do feel there is maybe just a little curiosity in all or most of us guys! just to see what we are competing with+++
I do know on a few occasions when laying on a naturist beach i have compaired notes to say! OMG that guy has my share img src="imagesadultemoticons008.gif"

We sure do!

Ealish - I caught it before the blog monster ate it. There is certainly evidence there to back up what you suggest.


Go4 - thanks for commenting. I think you're right, it is normal and there are plenty here to back that up.


Just me - are you sure? Not even a little peek, ever?