Thursdays odd sometimes funny

afloribama007

What squirts and then afterwards leaves you tired once are finished playing with it? A garden hose!




What is green, glowing and brings Superman to his knees?
An alien prostitute!




What did the penis say after getting circumcised?
“I’m having an off day!”




A guy goes into a bar at the weekend and sees a sign that reads:


Hamburgers $1:00


Cheeseburgers $2:00


Hand Job $3:00


Taken aback he calls the attractive blonde behind the bar across to enquire.


'Can I help you?' she asked with a big smile.


'I was wondering,' He whispers, 'Are you the one who gives them....ummm...Hand Jobs?'


'Yessssss' she purrs 'I am' Giving him a wink.


'Well wash your hands,' He says 'I want a cheeseburger!!'


I was in Hooters….


I was in Hooters last night and as the gorgeous young waitress leaned over the table with my food, a pair of hairy balls fell out of her knickers.


I said 'Oi, you're not a a girl'


She said ' I know, please don't tell the manager'


I said 'Why not?, will you lose your job?'


She said 'No, we're engaged'


What’s the difference between Iron Man and iron woman?


One is a superhero and one’s a simple command




My wife and I use the pull-out method for birth control...


We pull out our phones and ignore each other all night.

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