I get the why and the why not but then again I don't
I'm not new to the lifestyle but I have been out of it for a bit. "N" and I met in a club and four years later we're still together and our life is great. There's no one I'd rather spend time with.
BUT.
When we were swinging I made it very clear that in the end she got the final say on anything and everything and I would never protest, so after we'd been together for about a year I wasn't too surprised for her to tell me that she didn't want to partake anymore. "N" said she had some insecurity with the thought of having to share me with another woman and didn't believe another man would measure up to me (the last admission made me proud and embarrassed at the same time. I like to think I'm good at it but I doubt I'm THAT good). So, as promised I didn't protest and we put that part of our life on the shelf. After all, the sex life we have is good bordering on great, but here recently I find I'm doing a lot more giving than receiving.
Full confession: I like anal play performed on me despite initially fighting it tooth and nail. When a former lover opened my mind to the idea that it isn't/wasn't a latent homosexual tendency, perfectly natural and OH so enjoyable my mind changed quickly (that she had left me no escape by being tied down hand and foot was the turning point).
So I politely asked "N" to think about it, maybe learn a technique or two and perhaps we could work our way up to her pegging me. She thought all of this was really hot and was 100% on board with the idea...For about three days. Now if I ask for it feels like I'm inconveniencing her and taking away from what she wants.
We also have a straight single female friend about our age that we've kept in touch with from our lifestyle days who has on more than one occasion hinted that she'd like to join us sometime. "N" is very comfortable with her and enjoys her company so to my horny male mind I'm thinking getting tag-teamed by these two beauties would NOT be the worst thing in life. Yet when I pitch the idea she's all for it, but when it comes time to make arrangements says no.
Look, I'm not dense. I respect "N" too much to do something that could potentially put her in an uncompromising position and I understand completely if she has reservations about certain things, but why do I feel like I'm the only one willing to compromise?
