2:31 pm Monday, 8th April, 2019
2 weeks ago we gave you the chance to decide the theme for our next blog. The results are in, and you voted for... BDSM roles for beginners!
Perhaps you’ve been thinking about darker fantasies for a long time and are finally seeking that moment to indulge, or maybe you’re newly curious? Finding your place in the world of BDSM can be daunting - with a multitude of different relationship power dynamics and role-playing that can be sexual, non-sexual, or a mix of both!
We’ll ease you in with the most common types (for now). But remember - all BDSM roles rely on mutual trust and consent, as well as satisfaction. ??
This person has all the power over a willingly Submissive partner during playtime. They take control, make the rules, create the structure, and direct the experiences. In responsible BDSM play, everyone involved will agree to the ‘negotiations’ involved - which are essentially the limits, safe words, and acceptable ‘punishments’. Although in charge, it isn’t all about the Dom! Doms must maintain a balance and protect their Sub, so both parties have their sexual fantasies fulfilled during playtime.
This person enjoys handing over power and control to a Dominant partner. Subs get their pleasure from ‘submitting’ to and fulfilling the desires and commands of their Dom. Although they do not give any instructions or commands during play (except of course using safewords if ever required), Subs do make choices, input ideas into, and agree to, all initial pre-play negotiations. While some Subs may be naturally interested in pleasing others, others may purely only get a thrill from being overpowered by someone during sex.
Being a ‘Switch’ means that you enjoy playing either the submissive or dominant role during sex, depending on how you feel! Not everyone likes to be exclusively a Dom or a Sub 100% of the time, so switching it up enables people to experience new sensations and experiment with different levels of trust. Sometimes a person can be a Sub to one playmate, while being Dom to another. A person could also use this term to describe being both a Bottom and a Top.
The ‘Bottom’ is the person on the receiving end of physical sensations administered by their partner (the ‘Top') during play. Exhilarating power exchanges can occur here when a Dom becomes a Bottom by ordering their Sub into administering sensations on them (such as whipping, etc) as a ‘Top’.
A Master or Mistress (gender preference dependent) takes a Dominant role of ownership over their Submissive who takes on the role of the ‘Servant’ or ‘Property’ of their Mistress/Master owner. Sometimes, the Master/Mistress and their Sub will take part in collaring rituals, or sign a contract, to formalise their commitment to these roles - although these are purely symbolic and not legally binding. This type of relationship may extend outside of playtime activities, and into other, or all, areas of life.
So, which role do you love playing most? Have you tried out a few? If you’ve got any stories, experience, or advice for newbie kinksters, we want to hear! Just use the comments area below. 👇