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6 Pieces of Dungeon Etiquette that Will Make You A Party Master / Mistress

Dungeon parties are a BDSM lover's dream! To get an invite to one is an extremely exciting thing to happen, especially if you have never been to one before. Much like a swingers party (or any party for that matter) there are rules that you will need to abide by and things you should remember for your own enjoyment and those around you.

Plan Ahead

Remember to get as much detail as possible about the party prior to going. Do you need to RSVP? Is there a dress code? Do you need to pay to get in? These are things you should have organised well ahead of the day. Then there’s one more thing you need to prepare — your alias. You want to keep your identity under wraps as you know how gossip works. With BDSM being so misunderstood, you could jeopardise a lot of things, and chances are you don’t want any bother from people for what you get up to behind closed doors (even if it isn’t any of their business, that doesn’t stop some people).

Rules Aren’t Always There To Be Broken

There will most likely be a specific set of rules for your party so don’t forget to read them and adhere to them. Doing something you’re not meant to be doing could potentially be quite embarrassing and give you a bad name within the close-knit BDSM community.

Squeaky Clean!

Clean any equipment and furniture before you play, as well as after you’re done. Some people may complain, “but I’m the first one to use it, so why clean it first?” While you may be the first one on it at that party – you have no idea what happened on it the night before or before the party started – especially if you are at a dungeon that offers pro sessions. It could have been used 30 minutes before the party doors opened. Plus, if you aren’t the first ones on it that means someone else (hopefully) cleaned it — but did they clean all the parts you will be using? Did they clean it correctly? Better to be safe than sorry.

Equipment Hog

Hogging equipment can take two forms. Time and space. At some Dungeons you may have a time limit on your scene. In this case it won’t matter because you won’t have a choice but to give up your play space at the designated time. However, most parties do not time scenes. Therefore, you should consider how many people are in attendance and how much of a demand there is for play stations. Be considerate. If it’s a busy party, don’t play for hours. The other issue is space. Try to consolidate your toys and other things you need before heading to the party. Look for a place to put your bag/toys that is within your station. Don’t use a play table for storage. If you’re concerned about putting your things on the floor, bring a towel to throw down.

Be Respectful

Whatever you do, don’t touch anyone without permission or interrupt a play scene without being invited into it. Also keep your voice down around areas where people are playing, they will most likely be concentrating and need as little distraction as possible to fully enjoy themselves, so by being disruptive you might find yourself in the bad books of other party goers.

Make Friends Not Just Memories

Remember that although you are primarily there to play, there’s plenty of opportunity to meet new BDSM contacts and get invited to more parties if you spend a bit of time in the social areas where people are chatting.


Enjoy yourself and be wary of the above. That way you can ensure yourself the best chance of being invited to dungeons galore! Ever been to a dungeon party? Share with us in the comments.


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Reviews and Comments

went a few months ago...great....especially the whipping &strap on activity....he really enjoyed getting whipped

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Been in the NYC BDSM scene since 1990. Before the recent influx of swingers, I've seen several incidents in the 90s where swingers thought they could just join into someone's scene that came close to turning into fistfights.

Don't be creepy. Seen submissive men who used to crawl around the floor of clubs go up to bound, gagged and blindfolded sub women and beg to worship them, call them mistress, grovel before them. It's really tasteless. They're not dominants. Despite your female supremacy fantasies, if someone is obviously not a dominant, keep your kink to someone who appreciates it.

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I have only been to one many years ago, and I have lost contact with that person. I am wanting to get back into the scene, but don't know how to go about it. Any advice would be appreciatedI I am an older person who really wants to enjoy the latter (sex) years of my life!!! I don't think these is anything wrong with that!!!

How can I join? Pls send me contact details...

No have never been but the lifestyle is all I think about and have never been dominated by a real mistress

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Never had the chance to any bdsm party.