I write not on the perspective of gender, nor of gender bias. While some chauvinists label women to be matrimony-chasers and cynics paint men to be generally gamophobic, I veer away from the bandwagon mindset. I neither submit nor protest these notions for there is a grain of truth to them, afterall. Instead, I will share my own reason -- or reasons -- which will probably resonate with many.
I fear waking up next to a friendly roommate whom I adore, respect and never wish to hurt... BUT. I fear coming home to a safe, peaceful and friendly place and yet wish I were somewhere else. I fear that I chose well, married the best son-in-law for my parents, good provider, a good friend, and in all appearances the epitome of a perfect partner. Yet, find that I have ultimately chosen wrongly for the wrong reasons that are not his fault. At all.
As a woman who is innately passionate to the core, I fear losing that one thing cemented inside me. That which makes me a woman first and foremost, and lose it to being wife or mother or homemaker. I am a firm believer that a woman need not choose one role over the other. That she can still be a woman, after she becomes everything else.
I fear marriage for that small, life-changing, unforeseeable possibility that the man I will have chosen cannot inspire that part of me, that he will not even be able to reach it, cannot encourage it. I fear a partner who will be unable to appreciate I was still a woman deep inside, when I myself will forget.
I do not fear marriage for its security, nor the seeming permanence. Neither do I fear the sameness of every day, the ritual, the mechanics, the never-ending procession of bills, laundry, diapers or repairs. I would gladly embrace every mundane moment of it, if I could somehow assure myself that this chosen life partner is capable of nurturing my deepest passions instead of suppressing it until it is no more.
12:17 am Friday, 16th September, 2016
a interesting read... i suppose the onus would be on you to make sure "i" am on the same level... im not talking about changing someone, but at the end of the day nobody can read minds...
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