READ THE PROFILE!!!!!!

Whilst I agree with everything you say ,I have been in the scene longer than most I would think and I read and respect peoples profiles but this week I have received 3 mails saying sorry but you are not what we are looking for (bi male ) , I never sent any contact to any of these people having first read their profiles ,but it appears someone else did on my behalf perhaps they thought they knew better than me lol

Incidentally my profile doesn't say I am bi it clearly states straight

Sexybear,
What wonderful advice, i have been imploring other users to do the very same thing.
I have Not had a single visitor since joining!
Please, anybody....somebody....
I'm starting to feel lonely....img src="imagesadultemoticons017.gif"

Whilst I maybe new on this site I have been a member on other sites and on the swing scene for many years it never fails to surprise me that people cannot be bothered to read profiles. Like most men I'll chance my arm and say hi to many a people through their profile when I might just not be an exact match but never take offence if no reply or get a polite rebuff. I do however object to these automatic messages as they can come across in a more aggressive negative attitude .

Ooops sorry SB, will now comment 'on topic'......I think some need to pay a visit to an optician and invest in a pair of reading glasses or magnifying glass in some cases as they clearly don't bother to read profiles. Bloomin wonder at times why we go to the effort of writing them as the go unread by a vast amount of people. Grrrr it has become a 'pet peeve' of mine and i don't bother replying to mails from members that haven't had the sense to read my profile before mailing :-) x

"Rescued by a St Bernard in the Alps"!
Yeh, yeh, yeh, that ol chestnut....
The lengths people are willing to go to just to get a free shot of brandy!

chocolatelover: Would be interested to get your views on the current KitKat court case. Are you a die-hard Nestle guy ?
(Note: this is not a blogjack - just a digression)

Mr G: Does that mean you are having an Indian Summer? I'm envious. It's been nowt but typhoons and rain here since I got back at the end of Aug. Anyway, in the true spirit of Japanese natural disaster consciousness, it's never a bad idea to stock up with essential supplies. :-)

fmw: Yes you are right, but given the current site regime, the chances of a dedicated blog on that subject surviving are pretty slim.

So agree with SB here. But a social meet might be different, but can you spot a true profile? Now having met folk from here socially and others more intimately, being honest is the key. Politeness is also a prerequisite. Unfortunately the uncontrolled site triggered messages are a pain in the condiment.

Actually I agree about umpteen reviews resulting from attendance at a social. Yes it says you are a real person, but little else. Reviews about sexual interaction are harder won and say more about how a person interacts on "all levels".

"Reviews are only shown at the users discretion"

Exactly. We touched on this recently, I think. The term "review" suggests there is some leeway for criticism, but of course they are all glowing reports, and even if someone rated a person poorly, that person would choose not to retain the review. Maybe the term "testimonial" is better, because it is generally praise - for the above reason.

I agree to some extent that by picking and choosing testimonials one can shape one's public image, but getting them is not so easy, and one has to get out there and be active. So I guess they are a reflection of one's sheer motivation as much as anything.

Strange that my correction of condiment to fundament with comment o changes that happen after one hits the send button got banned! I have tried to be open and honest in my profile, with reasons for why I am restricted included. There is a difference between discrete and 'hiding things.' A lovely lady that I met and still do from here does not give or accept reviews because of abuse from other members, so while I agree with Deborose in principle the ripples can stretch to others. I love her glamorous photos as well.

Hey Donna. I appreciate your comments but at least I have reviews that do prove I am real and do turn up. You may prefer 55 reviews saying what a great shag you are but that is YOUR preference not mine!

Skeebie - I can promise you that I have accepted every review that has ever been written about me. Yes I have met a few over the years for more than a social but a lot of men don't like leaving reviews.

And before any of you start being bitchy and nasty no they weren't just one night stands, met them all a few times!

FMW thanks for your comments xxx

One nighters: only wish they came my way more often :-)

The evil blog fairy has been turned into a despot dictator....
This is not due to the site admin but the programming of the site.
The amount of posts getting deleted has increased dramatically since the recent site upgrade.
I suspect there are certain words or or combinations of characters and numbers which will automatically get your blog deleted.
I know that the acronym for 0ct0gen will get an automatic tug by the blog police and probably get you a following from those men in black!!!
So yes, whilst it's a real pain in the 'arris, until the next site upgrade it will be the norm so no point whinging, it ain't gonna get you anywhere

Apparently the acronym for Youth Hostel Association is banned too!!!

Probably loads of Bollocks Choco

Pickled in whisky i hope!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Malt i hope Sisy!? :-) x

'Bells' bloomin heck G, that's not proper whisky that's like bottled cold tea Eeewwwww

'Skebbie' leading me astray......never :-) x

Perhaps it is all a massive cover up by foreign intelligence services...
Sadam Hussein, Colonel Gadaffi and Osama Bin Laden, all apparently deceased.
Or maybe not, maybe they are still alive in a witness protection scheme and now employed to censor blogs!
That's one for the conspiracy theorists to get their teeth into.

Lostman, i am about to place the proverbial noose around my own neck with the following statement...
Hhh hrm....here it goes..
The site admin are predominantly female..
If i ever do something wrong and am in the doghouse, i will ask "what have i done wrong?"
Answer - "well if you don't know what you have done, i am not telling you!"
I rest my case

I suspect the overwhelming majority of site users are of the "quick fix" variety. I have never ever frequented the chat rooms on a regular basis, but the quick peeps I had there told me that they didn't fit my mindset, or the way I want to communicate with people. If I meet a woman in real life, I enjoy a bit of mind play, and I appreciate some intellectual exchange. I can only get that here, or in private e-mail. People are not all the same, and that also applies to the way they seek their stimulation, sexual or otherwise. In the same way that I prefer a romantic date and some intellectual chat, others will prefer a secluded car park off the A6. By the same analogy, I prefer to be here rather than the chat rooms. Unless the site can recognize and acknowledge the fact that at least some members prefer semi-intelligent exchange, then it has failed as an adult dating service.

Warning: This is going to be a long post and it may not survived the night :P

Firstly: About OP, I said it before. Yes, reading profiles should be the first initital step to approach someone. I always find highly annoying when people write one line messages and on top of that, they have nothing to say except 'I would like to meet you now'...However, it goes both ways, spending time to read it but also spending time to write one is vital...I am really not interested when some people just write 'I want NSA ASAP'...Your profile should be a way to know a little about you and show character and a way to know u r educated. Even if you don't have a clear picture of what you want at least some parameters.

This takes me to point 2. Some people will say but I am not good at writing. OK. This is why I like chatting to people, I don't do it as often as I used to but it is a different way to see how people interact. Yes, Skibbie is right...Messages and blogs give u a better light into someone's ability to be able to express their thoughts but chats also offer you a way to see those witty comments, quick minds, and if I am honest sometimes I just observe chatrooms and read....Therefore, both ways are completely valid way to understand and connect to people. I happen to do both. :)

Finally, reviews....Many have already said it...yes review is just a testimonial, but it is a strong one....For many reasons: a. You do exist b. You show up c. You have social skills to be liked by people who take the time to write a review....Deborose is right though, you can do whatever you want here and nobody should judge you for anything...We all have reasons to be here and as long as you don't hurt anyone then it is your prerogative....Some like it to focus on the sex part and enjoy it...some like me like the connection and chemistry and I am also happy to find people who think the same way. As I always say, everyone always finds their match.

OK, now I feel better. :)

Scramble eggs and tolerance sound perfect Mac. :)

Mac, so true...
Shit, i nearly burst into song there!
Considering the service this site is aimed at, i find i ludicrous that it can be so heavily censored
And for such minor "offences" to a set of rules that nobody understands..
Go onto any other blog, for instance a local newspaper articles online responses.. I read one which started with a rant about a local business and how they should be ashamed and then quickly transmuted into an attack on travellers in the most crude and ignorant form...and this was deemed acceptable at the time and is still there several months later.
Unfortunately there is intolerance in all societies and walks of life...this site is no different.
We have all been victim to it and maybe even feel it is unjust.
It is terminal intolerance, just like being in a bad marriage!
The general feel is that if nothing is done soon, there will be a large number of decree nisi being issued!!!

Lostman, the best coddled eggs are served in a hotel in Park lane in Londinium. With crispy bacon and deep fried bread soldiers to dip and infused with a bacon smoke, they are amazing.

Miss Valiant,
In the last few weeks its all gone a bit Pete Tong...
Just hang onto yer mojo for dear life,
And hope like the rest of us that normal service will resume shortly...

Welcum: Indeed you are right. There is a weird double standard on this site. It ostensibly pays lip service to "alternative lifestyles" on the one hand, while acting as a nanny - restricting our free expression - on the other. This "oo-er missus, 'ows yer father, norty-norty" sort of double standard simply creases me up sometimes :-) It's like one of those racy postcards you can buy at Brit seaside "resorts" :-)