"I was not successful having this kind of set up but hopefully some can prevent it before ruining their precious hearts"
Some of us are reluctant to enter into this type of relationship; for the simple fact that feelings might be caught for that person (whether it's on your end or theirs).
There has to be a way to avoid this right?
I mean...that is the whole point of trying to establish this relationship in the first place.
Tips on how to make that happen:
1. Make sure you and this person have had no prior relationship with eachother (If this is an ex or someone that wants a committed relationship) then this will be a disaster in the making.
Start fresh with someone new!
This person should be seeking the same type of relationship you are.
Be clear of your needs and discuss the boundaries.
Make sure the both of you have a full understanding of each other before you proceed.
2. Avoid every aspect that a emotional relationship would have:
Do not call/text to engage in rapport (The more you learn about someone the more natural it is to eventually develop feelings for that person).
Only call your no strings attached partner for sex (they should be doing the same as well because feelings can happen on their part too).
3. Do not ask to hang out. (In doing so, remember you are beginning to learn about the non-sexual part of them.)
Stick to your guns!
4. Do not end the sex sessions laying in eachothers arms, cuddling up. (This is what people in relationships do, not the no strings attached relationship). Eventually those long cuddles could turn into lengthy conversations and that is what you are trying to avoid.
5. Do not spend the night with this person. (Leave almost immediately after the sex). Let this person know you had a great time and you can’t wait to see them again.
6. Do not add this person on any social media sites. (This is someone you want to see only in the flesh and that is all).
The only types of conversations the both of you should have is about sex (nothing else).
If the both of you are clear about your intentions from the beginning and the emotional part of the relationship is non-existent then it is almost impossible.
You will most likely fall in love with the sex and nothing else.
2:07 am Thursday, 3rd September, 2015
hornywe15
Great read. You have not missed out any point. Keep them coming. |
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2:12 am Thursday, 3rd September, 2015
mikef2536
In ALL relationships there need to be rules and boundaries. Whether it is NSA or a full on romance you need to talk to your partner and set the ground rules. I just broke up with a woman after only one date. She thought I was getting too serious. We had talked about taking it slow but she meant Non-Existent.... Say what you mean and mean what you say. Good luck everyone. |
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9:28 am Thursday, 3rd September, 2015
SunShineGirllUK
Hmm seems i have broken each and every one of your rulessuggestions. Though my approach is working for me, well so far it is. But i suppose it comes down to both parties being open and honest about their expectations,needs,thoughts and respecting boundaries. Communication is a must for me as i think i'd feel somewhat cheated were i to go by your suggested approach.
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10:44 am Thursday, 3rd September, 2015
Skebbie
This latest episode of the series simply confirms in my own mind that the NSA umbrella encompasses a huge gulf of attitudes. This end of the spectrum seems to be a clinical, joyless, calculating sort of mechanical experience. But hey.....given the fascinating diversity of human sexual responses and predilections, one might even refer to it as a specific fetish :-) |
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11:49 am Thursday, 3rd September, 2015
doktorzook
That sounds more like dogging than NSA humping, or an adaptation of the FFF paradigm... |
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1:24 pm Thursday, 3rd September, 2015
Skebbie
That is one of the funniest comments I have read here in recent weeks :-)
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1:46 pm Thursday, 3rd September, 2015
rabis101
wow.. can we discuss that on the chat box? im online now |
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2:12 pm Thursday, 3rd September, 2015
freeforpleasure
Sweetgrace, I have the feeling that this blog is a way to protect yourself against all what you went through before. You are definitely on your right to try any approach you seem suitable. It is inevitable to go through a process before you find the balance you may need in relation to NSA.
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2:49 pm Thursday, 3rd September, 2015
Raffiano2012
From Day 1 be honest. It is the "best" way of ensuring that you do not deceive if he she has other expectations besides the "NSA agreement". |
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2:53 pm Thursday, 3rd September, 2015
Raffiano2012
I just removed "NSA" from my profile as I ain't no corpse! Hee Heee |
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3:03 pm Thursday, 3rd September, 2015
arvino
theres a 7 billion people througout the world, even meeting a thousand people everyday. im quite sure it isnt enough, even a hundred years of life span to meet those people throughout the world. so the chances are very high, that youll meet someone out there, same as yours! |
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3:28 pm Thursday, 3rd September, 2015
Skebbie
"your blog made it onto the 'Blog of the month' list"
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6:49 pm Sunday, 6th September, 2015
LeonardJr
Well said, thanks :) |
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4:39 pm Thursday, 10th September, 2015
TwilightSex
Very good points. I too need some chemistry to enjoy sex and I love laying and cuddling after sex.
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10:05 pm Thursday, 10th September, 2015
Welcumdstraction
I don't see the list as rules, more guidelines...
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1:35 am Friday, 11th September, 2015
Skebbie
Choc: That would also have an advantage in that you'd soon be able to tell when they were lying :-) |
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6:58 am Friday, 11th September, 2015
Welcumdstraction
Maybe he would want him to lie!!!! |
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8:02 pm Friday, 11th September, 2015
Welcumdstraction
Tell me lies, tell me sweet little lies... |
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11:52 am Saturday, 12th September, 2015
TwilightSex
I agree with Deb. An "unpaid hooker" is a good way of putting it, not that I would call anyone that who has sex and no feelings attached. A bond is important. I have to like something about them. Though for me, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Personality is everything. |
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10:43 am Sunday, 13th September, 2015
lickgspecialist
i totally agree with you.......NSA........no strings attached......no souls attached |
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12:43 pm Sunday, 13th September, 2015
Skebbie
People who operate as a couple already have a "significant other", and that will dictate how they interact with others. I have met couples who were willing to share *everything* with me, in the sense that either (a) I was given a totally free rein with the female half with the male acting more as a voyeurphotographer, or (b) it was a genuine threesome, with the guy also involved. In both cases there were no restrictions on kissing the woman, and if that aspect *had* been restricted, then probably I would have not decided to meet them, simply because if that is denied me, then I can't feel fully engagedabandoned, and this affects my performance. I know that some couples do not like males deep kissing the female half, and that's entirely their prerogative. But in my mind it's not an expression of "love" (lol), simply an essential aspect of sensual abandon. I'm not going to get "emotionally attached" to the female half of a couple just because she kisses me :-) |
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12:32 pm Tuesday, 15th September, 2015
Skebbie
Lilith: Your situation sounds almost identical to my own. I can switch myself on and off as each situation dictates, and I have a coterie of ladies, each of whom I see only now and again. We do keep in touch, but nothing too heavy. They are happy with their lives, and I with mine, and - as you say - we are "loving friends" (which I think is a much nicer term than "fuck buddy" :-) I don't think I'm a "cold fish", because I *am* capable of affection when each partner needs it, but there is no need to go beyond what we are currently sharing, and it works fine. Obviously some people would find it difficult to manage this: as I've said in my previous posts, a "balance of neediness" is required between partners. But for those who can hack it, I really do think it's a viable alternative lifestyle, and even when the sex has gone, those friendships can still evolve. How can one arrive at this happy state of affairs? Is it learned, or does one have to have a certain character or aptitude from the start? I think it's a bit of both. |
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2:47 pm Tuesday, 15th September, 2015
Welcumdstraction
Skebbie,
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3:00 pm Tuesday, 15th September, 2015
Skebbie
"I convince myself they've gone to live in Australia, have no internet access, and are as happy as anything"
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