Preparation for No Strings Attached Relationship

Great read. You have not missed out any point. Keep them coming.

In ALL relationships there need to be rules and boundaries. Whether it is NSA or a full on romance you need to talk to your partner and set the ground rules. I just broke up with a woman after only one date. She thought I was getting too serious. We had talked about taking it slow but she meant Non-Existent.... Say what you mean and mean what you say. Good luck everyone.

Hmm seems i have broken each and every one of your rulessuggestions. Though my approach is working for me, well so far it is. But i suppose it comes down to both parties being open and honest about their expectations,needs,thoughts and respecting boundaries. Communication is a must for me as i think i'd feel somewhat cheated were i to go by your suggested approach.
But then again i suppose i've never been a 'wham bam thank you ma'am' sort, as i for one need to build a certain level of connection with the person before sharing intimate pleasures. It is possible it you approach in with your eyes wide open and can be far more rewarding and enjoyable than the 'NSA' approach that you are suggesting, though that's only my experience and opinion. We are all different and what works for one person may not always work for the next person :-) x

This latest episode of the series simply confirms in my own mind that the NSA umbrella encompasses a huge gulf of attitudes. This end of the spectrum seems to be a clinical, joyless, calculating sort of mechanical experience. But hey.....given the fascinating diversity of human sexual responses and predilections, one might even refer to it as a specific fetish :-)

That sounds more like dogging than NSA humping, or an adaptation of the FFF paradigm...

That is one of the funniest comments I have read here in recent weeks :-)
However, I do prefer dark chocs to the milky kind.
(Bloody hell.....I've just started a food thread !!!)

wow.. can we discuss that on the chat box? im online now

Sweetgrace, I have the feeling that this blog is a way to protect yourself against all what you went through before. You are definitely on your right to try any approach you seem suitable. It is inevitable to go through a process before you find the balance you may need in relation to NSA.

Personally, I can't see myself doing many of the things that you pointed out. Gosh!! I love cuddles so much too and what would happen if I really wanted to stay overnight because I am far from home? Besides, connection and chemistry are important for me to consider any kind of closeness. However, I hope this works out for you or anyone who may try :)

From Day 1 be honest. It is the "best" way of ensuring that you do not deceive if he she has other expectations besides the "NSA agreement".

I just removed "NSA" from my profile as I ain't no corpse! Hee Heee

theres a 7 billion people througout the world, even meeting a thousand people everyday. im quite sure it isnt enough, even a hundred years of life span to meet those people throughout the world. so the chances are very high, that youll meet someone out there, same as yours!

"your blog made it onto the 'Blog of the month' list"

Did it ? I wouldn't even know where to look to confirm that, or whether in fact it's the swingers' equivalent of a Pulitzer Prize or a Rotten Tomato. As long as the Hub's happy, then goody.

Well said, thanks :)

Very good points. I too need some chemistry to enjoy sex and I love laying and cuddling after sex.

Seeking NSA is hard...

I don't see the list as rules, more guidelines...
what is the point of sex, if not to be intimate.
It's about as close as you are ever gonna get with somebody so why not savour that time with a cuddles, kisses and being close together.
Enjoy that time you have together.

Choc: That would also have an advantage in that you'd soon be able to tell when they were lying :-)

Maybe he would want him to lie!!!!

Tell me lies, tell me sweet little lies...

I agree with Deb. An "unpaid hooker" is a good way of putting it, not that I would call anyone that who has sex and no feelings attached. A bond is important. I have to like something about them. Though for me, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Personality is everything.

i totally agree with you.......NSA........no strings attached......no souls attached

People who operate as a couple already have a "significant other", and that will dictate how they interact with others. I have met couples who were willing to share *everything* with me, in the sense that either (a) I was given a totally free rein with the female half with the male acting more as a voyeurphotographer, or (b) it was a genuine threesome, with the guy also involved. In both cases there were no restrictions on kissing the woman, and if that aspect *had* been restricted, then probably I would have not decided to meet them, simply because if that is denied me, then I can't feel fully engagedabandoned, and this affects my performance. I know that some couples do not like males deep kissing the female half, and that's entirely their prerogative. But in my mind it's not an expression of "love" (lol), simply an essential aspect of sensual abandon. I'm not going to get "emotionally attached" to the female half of a couple just because she kisses me :-)

Lilith: Your situation sounds almost identical to my own. I can switch myself on and off as each situation dictates, and I have a coterie of ladies, each of whom I see only now and again. We do keep in touch, but nothing too heavy. They are happy with their lives, and I with mine, and - as you say - we are "loving friends" (which I think is a much nicer term than "fuck buddy" :-) I don't think I'm a "cold fish", because I *am* capable of affection when each partner needs it, but there is no need to go beyond what we are currently sharing, and it works fine. Obviously some people would find it difficult to manage this: as I've said in my previous posts, a "balance of neediness" is required between partners. But for those who can hack it, I really do think it's a viable alternative lifestyle, and even when the sex has gone, those friendships can still evolve. How can one arrive at this happy state of affairs? Is it learned, or does one have to have a certain character or aptitude from the start? I think it's a bit of both.

Skebbie,
I would be careful mentioning you may be a "cold fish", given your location.
Four words for you, Nori, Wasabi, Kirin & rice

"I convince myself they've gone to live in Australia, have no internet access, and are as happy as anything"

I've often told my own family and friends in UK to think along similar lines when I'm gone - except I'll be in Japan, of course :-)