Risks to Consider before Entering a NSA Relationship

2:10 am Sunday, 30^th August, 2015

It’s fun and it’s convenient, and other than a pair of sexy undies, you don’t invest much into it.

You basically get to have a no-holds-barred humpfest and go about your day afterwards without needing to check on your partner.

So what’s the catch when you take on a f*ck buddy?

The Basics

Your pseudo-relationship will revolve around sex. The topics of your communication will be predominantly when to hook up, what position is preferred and which toys or roles to try.

Therefore, you cannot expect your “playmate” to start asking you what your favorite color is, what your hopes and dreams are or how many kids you want to have, nor should you ask these questions.

Your relationship is merely an agreement between two people to have sex with no strings attached and no feelings involved.

Asking or expecting more than sex is a violation of your agreement. It is and always will be just about sex.

So now, whether you’ve never been in a strictly-sex relationship before or you’re considering the idea, here’s what you need to know about the physical, psychological, social and emotional risks and consequences of taking part in no-strings nookie:

1. Developing feelings

This is the most common risk of being in a f*ck buddy setup. The reason is mainly because you’re likely hooking up with someone you’re incredibly attracted to.

Physical attraction, after all, is one of the main factors in considering someone for a romantic relationship.

2. Losing self-respect and self-esteem

The only reasons accepted by the norm for having intercourse are a) to express love to your partner, and b) to build a family.

Take those out of the equation and you may find yourself having a hard time justifying why you’re having a strictly-sex relationship.

It also doesn’t help that there is a double standard against women hooking up, so you resort to either confiding in only your closest non-judgmental friends about the relationship, or not telling anyone else about it at all.

3. Losing respect for your partner

You know that your partner is willing to hook up without asking for anything in return, and this puts him or her in a different light when compared to other people you’ve been with.

Without being able to confide in, share meaningful conversations and doing personal activities apart from sex with your partner, your relationship lacks depth and significance.

4. Contracting an STD

Before you get into any friends-with-benefits relationship, you should ask your partner and make sure he or she does not have any STDs before you engage in any acts.

Also remember to always wear protection whenever you do the deed. Still, since you are not in a committed relationship with this person, you cannot demand and ensure that he or she does not have sex with anyone else, let alone be 100 percent assured your FWB stays cooties-free whenever he or she does.

5. Misplaced jealousy

Whether you have developed feelings for your partner or you just simply do not want to share your sex toy, you might find yourself feeling jealous of other people your partner gets close with.

This is difficult because you can’t voice your jealousy or ask your partner to stop seeing other people.

6. Pregnancy

If protection fails (hoping that you do use protection), you might find yourself in this very challenging and unwanted position.

You would have to make decisions on a major responsibility with someone you do not have a meaningful relationship with (yikes!).

7. Lowered expectations on your other relationships

As you put in more time into your casual relationship, you’ll become accustomed to shallow connections.

There will be no holding hands, no terms of endearment and no discussing feelings or personal details.

The more time you put in not doing these things, the more this behavior becomes normal to you. This eventually will carry over to your other relationships without you even realizing it.

8. Compromising your career and social life

A successful career and social standing rely heavily on one very vulnerable thing: reputation. Reputation is based mainly on morals, or whatever behavior is deemed acceptable by the norm.

Once people find out that you take part in casual relationship(s), you may jeopardize your reputation and all the merit and social credibility that you’ve worked hard on building.

Just to be clear, I did not point out all these risks and consequences to discredit hooking up. I, for one, am very much in favor of going after what I truly want, and if having fun without the frills of a romantic relationship is what you want, so be it.

However, I also think it’s better to be mindful of what possible ramifications are in store before indulging ourselves.

More importantly, it helps to make sure your true desires are being considered. Are you really in it just for sex, or are you hoping to get more out of it? In no-strings-attached relationships, the fewer expectations you have, the less risks and consequences there may be.

Comments

chaliegamboa	3:11 am Sunday, 30^th August, 2015 Now i really want to meet you. We could talk about a lot of stuff.
chaliegamboa	3:34 am Sunday, 30^th August, 2015 Its ok. But if you change your mind. Just pm me. Id like a good conversation. We could chat someday.
chaliegamboa	4:27 am Sunday, 30^th August, 2015 Id like spade if in the mood to get wasted. Im more into chilling now like zola but darker. Dont know the bars here nowadays. Just know the old ones. Did red lion relocate?
chaliegamboa	8:19 am Sunday, 30^th August, 2015 Oh red lion was my favorite before. Now i go to zola like once in two months. But i prefer it darker. Cant find the right place yet. Can we have an actual chat. Haha.
eroticgoddess	9:38 pm Sunday, 30^th August, 2015 Sounds like you're a bit against FWB relationships?? From my own perspective (3+years with a friend who means a lot to me, but yea, it's only sex) I have a few comments. True, may not be for everyone, but it CAN work. 1-Without feelings, you may as well pick up a stranger in a bar. It's sex, but truly NSA. A FWB NSA relationship offers a friend to talk to, without the emotional upheaval of having to deal with the shit. 2--Sex without respect isn't worth it. Find a partner who truly respects you as an individual, or it's a no go. 3-Respect goes both ways. Talk and chat, just enjoy not having to deal with ISSUES. 4-Life is a risk. Take care of yourself and protection always. 5-Jealousy can be an issue in any relationship. Discuss it, work with it, and be ready to move on if you (or heshe) can't handle it. There's no place for jealousy in a purely NSA relationship. 6-Protection! or....if you can't handle the possible outcome....just don't have sex! 7-I haven't found shallow relationships to be an issue as an outcome....you get out of it what you put into it. Enjoying the physical with one person doesn't mean there can't be different outcomes with others. it all depends on the situtation. 8-WHO do you tell about any relationship other than people you confide in???? If you don't trust your firendscoworkerswhatever....don't tell them. Condemnation isn't worth the effort put in by the other party.
freeforpleasure	4:04 am Monday, 31^st August, 2015 Erotic and Deborose have just written all what it could be said about the topic. Sex for the sake of sex can be found anywhere at any time. As a woman I feel I would not even need a site for this. I could easily go out and get it. It is a sad thought in a way but it is true. One of the reasons that some people have to come to this site is to actually find people who can connect with you in different levels so than the sex is much more intense and meaningful. Yes, human nature is very complex but as long as there is respect and honesty, both people should be OK. Yes, it could happen just once but I prefer an amazing night with someone I truly like even if one time. However, if it happens many times, I would like to think it will get better and better :)
Fetch1	4:23 am Monday, 31^st August, 2015 Nothing much to add except to say you have clearly given deep and logical thought to the subject and express yourself very clearly and lucidly.
Yakumu005	7:33 am Monday, 31^st August, 2015 Hi sweet if ever your in makati just let me know i'll be more than willing to entertain.
Contrapelo	8:45 am Monday, 31^st August, 2015 Nice one...
Mentalmatt83	5:02 pm Monday, 31^st August, 2015 I for years loved nsa or fab the only issue I found is I'm a nice guy girl would get feelings and the heartless man I become. I hurt a lot of girls the hardest thing the balance between feels am they have and I don't have and when you have to walk away.
Skebbie	1:28 am Tuesday, 1^st September, 2015 Sorry I arrived late at this discussion, but I have to say I fall into the deboroseEG camp. The writer of this blog seems to put NSA on a similar level to dogging: almost a purely clinical or mechanical interaction completely devoid of emotional interaction :-) Almost like blowing one's nose or making a dash to the toilet :-) The whole reason I started "adult dating" more than a decade ago was that up till then I had been in a sort of sexual desert, as a result of which I had poor self-esteem and did not know how to properly interact with women, not only on a sexual but also an emotional level. My experiences since then have taught me a lot about myself, restored my faith in the male-female dynamic, and given me a rich storehouse of memories that will be with me forever. This could have not come about if I had isolated the sexual component from everything else. A huge proportion of the pleasure that comes from sex lies in knowing that you have made a mental connection with a person you find attractive. Mutual admiration, affection and self-respect make for great interaction between she sheets. Clearly NSA means different things to different people, but for me it primarily means a form of special friendship: "special" because both partners are aware of the limits of such an arrangement and are happy to respect them. This is not easy to accomplish, but experience helps, and I think maturity is a big factor. For younger people who are in that vulnerable zone where they could potentially meet a prospective life partner andor future motherfather for children, the stakes are high and there's a greater potential for expectations to be raised. Consequently jealousy and possessiveness have a greater likelihood of raising their ugly heads. In middle age, though, NSA can work better and can be simply regarded as a form of life enhancement during the years people remain sexually active. People who succeed in cultivating a coterie or friends and lovers are indeed in a fortunate position because they know how to balance their emotions, and they accept the fact that any given NSA friend will be seeing others. Not everyone is able to hack that, but that's the only way it can work.
Nareshsh	11:34 am Tuesday, 1^st September, 2015 Each and every input from every1 here , changed my prospective totally Thanks a lot . You people seriously start a blog and i will be the first one to read and publish it everywhere img src="imagesadultemoticons013.gif"
Skebbie	1:08 pm Tuesday, 1^st September, 2015 Nareshsh: You are welcome :-)
Boomguy	1:39 pm Tuesday, 1^st September, 2015 Hi pussy lick lets fuckimg src="imagesadultemoticons030.gif" img src="imagesadultemoticons030.gif" img src="imagesadultemoticons030.gif" img src="imagesadultemoticons030.gif" img src="imagesadultemoticons030.gif" img src="imagesadultemoticons014.gif" img src="imagesadultemoticons014.gif" img src="imagesadultemoticons014.gif" img src="imagesadultemoticons014.gif" img src="imagesadultemoticons014.gif" img src="imagesadultemoticons014.gif" img src="imagesadultemoticons014.gif" img src="imagesadultemoticons014.gif" img src="imagesadultemoticons014.gif" img src="imagesadultemoticons014.gif" img src="imagesadultemoticons028.gif" img src="imagesadultemoticons028.gif" img src="imagesadultemoticons028.gif" img src="imagesadultemoticons028.gif" img src="imagesadultemoticons028.gif" img src="imagesadultemoticons028.gif"
Boomguy	1:39 pm Tuesday, 1^st September, 2015 Hi pussy lick lets fuckimg src="imagesadultemoticons030.gif" img src="imagesadultemoticons030.gif" img src="imagesadultemoticons030.gif" img src="imagesadultemoticons030.gif" img src="imagesadultemoticons030.gif" img src="imagesadultemoticons014.gif" img src="imagesadultemoticons014.gif" img src="imagesadultemoticons014.gif" img src="imagesadultemoticons014.gif" img src="imagesadultemoticons014.gif" img src="imagesadultemoticons014.gif" img src="imagesadultemoticons014.gif" img src="imagesadultemoticons014.gif" img src="imagesadultemoticons014.gif" img src="imagesadultemoticons014.gif" img src="imagesadultemoticons028.gif" img src="imagesadultemoticons028.gif" img src="imagesadultemoticons028.gif" img src="imagesadultemoticons028.gif" img src="imagesadultemoticons028.gif" img src="imagesadultemoticons028.gif"
Boomguy	1:39 pm Tuesday, 1^st September, 2015 Hi pussy lick lets fuckimg src="imagesadultemoticons030.gif" img src="imagesadultemoticons030.gif" img src="imagesadultemoticons030.gif" img src="imagesadultemoticons030.gif" img src="imagesadultemoticons030.gif" img src="imagesadultemoticons014.gif" img src="imagesadultemoticons014.gif" img src="imagesadultemoticons014.gif" img src="imagesadultemoticons014.gif" img src="imagesadultemoticons014.gif" img src="imagesadultemoticons014.gif" img src="imagesadultemoticons014.gif" img src="imagesadultemoticons014.gif" img src="imagesadultemoticons014.gif" img src="imagesadultemoticons014.gif" img src="imagesadultemoticons028.gif" img src="imagesadultemoticons028.gif" img src="imagesadultemoticons028.gif" img src="imagesadultemoticons028.gif" img src="imagesadultemoticons028.gif" img src="imagesadultemoticons028.gif"
Boomguy	1:39 pm Tuesday, 1^st September, 2015 Hi pussy lick lets fuckimg src="imagesadultemoticons030.gif" img src="imagesadultemoticons030.gif" img src="imagesadultemoticons030.gif" img src="imagesadultemoticons030.gif" img src="imagesadultemoticons030.gif" img src="imagesadultemoticons014.gif" img src="imagesadultemoticons014.gif" img src="imagesadultemoticons014.gif" img src="imagesadultemoticons014.gif" img src="imagesadultemoticons014.gif" img src="imagesadultemoticons014.gif" img src="imagesadultemoticons014.gif" img src="imagesadultemoticons014.gif" img src="imagesadultemoticons014.gif" img src="imagesadultemoticons014.gif" img src="imagesadultemoticons028.gif" img src="imagesadultemoticons028.gif" img src="imagesadultemoticons028.gif" img src="imagesadultemoticons028.gif" img src="imagesadultemoticons028.gif" img src="imagesadultemoticons028.gif"
Skebbie	2:19 pm Tuesday, 1^st September, 2015 Oh dear. How coarse.
gwwk23gary	2:51 am Wednesday, 2^nd September, 2015 I have been in 2 NSA relationships... There are pros and cons... Unfortunately, one I got attached and fucked it up... The other my partner got attached and fucked it up... It's easy to say, "yeah let's just be fuck buddies" but I would bet that 75-80% of the time one party or the other begins seeking or wanting more... I am not opposed to them, I am just not convinced that many of them work well, or don't end up ruining friendships... Both of mine did...
gwwk23gary	2:51 am Wednesday, 2^nd September, 2015 I have been in 2 NSA relationships... There are pros and cons... Unfortunately, one I got attached and fucked it up... The other my partner got attached and fucked it up... It's easy to say, "yeah let's just be fuck buddies" but I would bet that 75-80% of the time one party or the other begins seeking or wanting more... I am not opposed to them, I am just not convinced that many of them work well, or don't end up ruining friendships... Both of mine did...
Skebbie	3:55 am Wednesday, 2^nd September, 2015 I think it's all down to finding that correct "balance of neediness", gary. It's a tough one, but it is attainable.
freeforpleasure	4:33 am Wednesday, 2^nd September, 2015 A year ago, I came to the site and with the idea of NSA. It has taken me all that time to actually find a balance in my mind and to learn how to separate different kind of expectations. It is a process. Nobody is born ready to have a NSA relation and not everyone should have one as it is up to each person to choose what it suits them the best according to their needs and time and space, It is definitely not an easy thing to achieve. Human nature is very complex and the scenarios and circumstances are endless. I have realized that the best policy is to be clear from the beginning and be honest. Communication is absolutely a must. Good luck to everyone!
Skebbie	4:47 am Wednesday, 2^nd September, 2015 Couldn't agree more, FFP. NSA is not for everyone, and for those who manage that delicate balance, it takes time and maturity to master.
krisjean	5:01 am Wednesday, 2^nd September, 2015 i can say that theres really a thin line between NSA and emotions involving getting hooked to the status quo of the two peoples interest on how to separate those two. its like a matter of life and death . .when u have NSA u live qhen u chose attaching emotions ur dead coz ur expecting something that is merely a dream or a fantasy which wud hurt u not physically but emotionally :-) hehe maybe im to young thpugh to have said it
krisjean	5:02 am Wednesday, 2^nd September, 2015 i can say that theres really a thin line between NSA and emotions involving getting hooked to the status quo of the two peoples interest on how to separate those two. its like a matter of life and death . .when u have NSA u live qhen u chose attaching emotions ur dead coz ur expecting something that is merely a dream or a fantasy which wud hurt u not physically but emotionally :-) hehe maybe im to young thpugh to have said it
darksweets	2:50 pm Wednesday, 2^nd September, 2015 Been in an NSA relationship also. We both came out of it totally sane and with a special kind of love between us. We love each other as special friends. I must say I wish everyone could have that kind of love. Even if months or years go by, we are there for one another. We are each others protector. We met when we where both weekend by the world and others, we held each other up, we talked, we communicated, we taught one another, he even used to read to me with his soothing, kind voice. We had and still have a special kind of bond.
Skebbie	3:02 pm Wednesday, 2^nd September, 2015 Been there, done that, and yes I have several special friendships that were born out of that situation. If two people put in some effort they can forge something valuable. That's why I think shallow, sex-only liaisons are ultimately false economy.
Nareshsh	4:03 pm Wednesday, 2^nd September, 2015 People who were and who are in NSA relationship , seriously you all are lucky to find this people and the experiences u had
potpot17	2:53 am Thursday, 3^rd September, 2015 lets have an actual chat miss :)
gwwk23gary	4:11 am Thursday, 3^rd September, 2015 @Skebbie, I believe that it is attainable, but not for everyone... I say that because if you think about it, we would only be willing to get into an NSA relationship with someone that we are 1) Trusting of, 2) Visually and sexually attracted to, 3) At ease, or comfortable with, 4) Willing to spend time with on a some what frequent basis... All those things are a few that we also look for, or find (wether accidentally or intentionally) when seeking a more permanent or LTR... I know that many people are capable of the NSA arrangement. But many who think they can come to learn they cannot...
Imbiss01	1:59 pm Thursday, 3^rd September, 2015 Hi Guys n Gals, I have to admit I am with Erotic and Deborose on this. I am happy to walk hand-in-hand, have meals, go for drinks, watch movies, talk and hold conversations (both in bed and out of bed), be a sonding board , a shoulder to cry on if needed and to give advice. I believe that is why it is called "Friends with Benefits" or NSA. At the end of the day, as humans, we are social creatures. The depth and width of our social bonds are what define us as people. Wishing you all well. Take care and enjoy.
id6106	9:03 pm Thursday, 3^rd September, 2015 I agree with all of you! No one is against anything but its always good to consider what you're doing and know where to keep a red line! The idea is to enjoy your desires with setting your limitations! Well said by everyone.
Sunilg	1:26 am Monday, 7^th September, 2015 Sex depends on mind...!!!
kokako	5:06 am Monday, 7^th September, 2015 I was just reading all the posts re: NSA, its very timely nowadays very nice topic indeed.
Skebbie	12:32 pm Monday, 7^th September, 2015 sweetgrace: You are at a difficult age :-) You are still within the danger zone for "nesting", so I can understand your dilemma. Add another 15 years and you'll be in the clear :-)
freeforpleasure	1:31 pm Monday, 7^th September, 2015 I am 34 and fine Skebbie....I think lol I dont think age is the issue tbh. As sweet mentioned is more about experience. I know many mature women very intense and open to their feelings as as well as younsters able to be ok with NSA.
Skebbie	1:44 pm Monday, 7^th September, 2015 But generalizing..........(always dangerous I know :-)...........I would say that the age range of 20-40 (roughly) is a very dodgy time for ladies when it comes to interaction with men. I'm willing to bet even you are still vulnerable, FFP :-)
Discoveringron	1:52 pm Monday, 7^th September, 2015 I think we are all here (in this website), because someway or the other we are dissatisfied with our relationship. What do we do? We look for NSA coz we need to vent out the sexual energy that is inside us. Something that we are not able to relinquish now. Then, when we do have a friends with benefits person with us, should we fall in love? Do we fall in love? Has somebody loved their FWB partner? And I think the whole equation changes after falling in love. Dont you think?
freeforpleasure	1:54 pm Monday, 7^th September, 2015 Skebbie, what r we betting? Lol and how do we check this? :p U r right totally dangerous to generalize. And, It is actually unfair just applying these to women. I know many men who cant deal with the situation either. Arent we all vulnerable in a way anyway? The differences are just in degrees i think. Afterall, we come back to the op. This is not a mechanical thing for many.
Skebbie	2:01 pm Monday, 7^th September, 2015 Ron: Yes we all have sexual energy to vent, but speaking personally I wouldn't go and do it with strangers in a layby :-) Some of us here need some sort of personal connection. It may not be as meaningful as a full-on LTR but at least it gives us a chance to share some empathy and make us feel valued as human beings. If I was simply looking for "sexual relief" then I'd probably wank more often. However, I prefer to save myself for something more worthy, and it doesn't have to mean falling in "love".
darksweets	2:26 pm Monday, 7^th September, 2015 Being a woman of little words here is some food for thought... maybe us that can handle an NSA relationship are the ones that dont have deep emotions any more, our logic rules, reality rules... sometimes I so wish I had it in me to fall madly and insanly in love, to say and feel "Feck it, I will allow myself to fall head over heels and whatever happens, happens". But no, I have my emotions under control, I do my reality checks every so often and I know its a waste of energy.
Skebbie	4:46 pm Monday, 7^th September, 2015 Who's Gerald Butler ? ;-)
kokako	5:06 pm Monday, 7^th September, 2015 Yeah your right sweet grace your getting pro sooner or later. Downside is, you cannot express your emotions easily weather its a true love or FUBU, NSA, "pusong bato" Anyway, why dont you organize to have a small group party for all of us here. Just a thought.
gwwk23gary	1:53 am Tuesday, 8^th September, 2015 Sweetgrace, it is easy to get the feeling of being "special" especially if we haven't had any in a while... It can happen to anyone... I think the fwb situation is not for everyone... It's like many of life's situations... What works for one, doesn't always work for another... That's why we are all individuals, and not robots...
Discoveringron	2:58 am Tuesday, 8^th September, 2015 Hey Skebbie, there is a very thin line in between having meaningfulemotional sex and sex in love. How do we define that? But when we do get atuck in emotions, then we start expecting a lot from the partner. Not just for sexual needs but for daily needs as well. If the partner is not ready fpr such commitment then we may be ruining something magical that we have with our partner.
Skebbie	3:44 am Tuesday, 8^th September, 2015 Like I say.....you have to find the "right balance of neediness". If I felt a lady-friend was investing too much in me emotionally, then it would no longer be "magical" :-) The magical part comes from knowing that the status quo is fine for both partners.
freeforpleasure	6:24 am Tuesday, 8^th September, 2015 I have to say this blog is making me think so much. Now 'neediness" again will depend on people's perception of this word and probably experience and goals. To write a text and ask: How are you?" could be considered too much for some people. What caring means for one person could mean I want more of you by another person. Solution: Always set up clearly what you both expect from the beginning and if it needs to be adapted, then don't be afraid to say it. Afterall, yes, age helps and experience helps but communication is the top priority even if sometimes it is not the easy way.
kokako	11:11 am Wednesday, 9^th September, 2015 Btw, where is the pics of yours sweetgrace?
kokako	6:45 pm Wednesday, 9^th September, 2015 Why she deleted it?

Blog Introduction

sweetgrace

View Profile

Get full access to all site features

Sign-up in 5 Simple Steps..

Risks to Consider before Entering a NSA Relationship

Blog Introduction