Treat each other courteously
Be aware that this is a lifestyle full of insecurities, uncertainties and fears. Courteously is how we all want to be treated - with kindness, thoughtfulness, understanding and sensitivity. Courtesy is treating people the way we ourselves want to be treated.
Be friendly
Whether or not you are personally interested with someone, be polite. You never know, you may share many other interests or you may meet that person again, and they may introduce you to someone with whom you ARE compatible and do wish to share time.
Respond to all invitations RSVP
Please reply to the invitation. It does NOT mean reply only if you plan to attend. The most frustrating part of hosting, be it a party, a group or another couple, is people who are discourteous enough not to respond, PERIOD. Good etiquette and good social courtesy DEMAND your response, by either calling or writing to say yes OR no.
Maintain your personal hygiene
Nothing turns a person off faster and more effectively than an unclean body or un-fresh breath. Even if you shower and perfume yourself before you leave home, it is always a good idea to freshen up again when you arrive at your destination.
Respect other people’s feelings and wishes
Beware, not everyone is comfortable in all situations. Keep your eyes open for signs that your partner, as well as others, is relaxed and enjoying themselves. If someone is not comfortable, try helping them over the rough spots. Remember, you were a beginner once yourself. If it is obvious that things are not working out, remain polite and courteous and it is best to alert the host. Keep in mind that not all people feel the same about things.
Don't be pushy
If you are interested in swinging with someone, let them know in an inviting way; if they are interested, they will respond positively. If they are not and sayNo, thank you," do not ask WHY. No amount of sweet talk or coercion on your part will change their mind and will probably work against you. Everyone has the right to say "NO" at all times, to anyone, without explanation. Do not ever forget that.
ALWAYS GET PERMISSION BEFORE DOING SOMETHING
You may have had a talk about boundaries but people can feel like things and not feel like things in the moment, so it’s a good etiquette to just ask, “Is it ok?”
ONLY DO WHAT IS FUN FOR YOU
Do not allow yourself to become sexually involved with anybody that you are not interested in. There is no reason to involve yourself in a scene that you are not comfortable with. You are in the lifestyle to enjoy yourself, so only do what you want, when you want and with whom you want.
HOW AND WHY TO SAY NO
One of the basic etiquettes in swinging is the right of anyone to say "No". Experience has taught most people that everybody is not right for everybody else. Improper handling of a situation can however lead to a lot of hurt or very bad feelings. The swinging world accepts the premise that everyone has the right to say "No" to anyone at anytime and it should be done with a simple "No thank you". Never give an explanation, because that is what usually causes the problems and the pain.
ENGAGE IN SAFE SEX
It is up to us to protect ourselves as well as our partners. With the present concern over sexually transmitted diseases such as syphilis, gonorrhoea, aids, yeast infection, etc.., the use of condoms should not offend anybody. Anyone not willing to take this precaution is acting selfishly and irresponsibly. You are not being accused of being unclean, but simply someone wishes to provide you both with protection.
ENJOY YOURSELF
Most important, have a good time, act out your fantasies, explore your own sexuality and enjoy everything this lifestyle has to offer with enthusiasm, laughter and a positive attitude.
