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Are we judged by the Company we Keep?

9:45 pm Friday, 12th June, 2015

We made a mistake. A really big mistake. We made a bunch of Friends.

Let me explain. As a new couple to the site, we strived to put in place a decent Profile. Yes its gone through a few iterations. And honestly it took about a week to get it to where it is now. Since the site does not allow you to constantly build, and not publish, each iteration went live. Thats fine and we understood that. We took pains to make sure each iteration was a necessary change.

However in our rush to produce a decent Profile that represented "US", we made a mistake. We assumed that since our goals were clear, or mostly clear, only people who were similar would reply. So we just kept accepting friends. After all we did say we wanted to make friends. We had no idea that for some people "friends" had a different connotation than what we thought.

Apparently many feel that "friends" are ready to meet. If we "friend" we are ready to hand over our personal information like FB and phone numbers, and face pictures. Not exactly what we thought the definition of was. Sure we know your horny and looking to play, but we have "friends" that we will never play with. They are super people, they are great people, they are the salt of the earth kind of people. But without that physical attraction we are not going to play. But again, they are great friends. And we would not hesitate to invite them to a meet and greet or small private party as we know everyones taste and turn ons are different.

OK with the above said, really I think most intelligent people would say, sure we agree with you. We have lots of friends we don't play with. We have friends we may never even meet. GREAT we are on the same wave length.

Then why is it we get so many comments from others like: " we are friends of XYZ and they said you guys are really hot. Thanks for accepting our friends request. When can we meet and whats your CP number"

When we reply that we currently don't have time to meet and giving out our CP number at this juncture is a bit premature, they reply: " but you added more friends since yesterday? Why are you adding friends if you don't have time to meet?"

Or when we get a guy who writes, " why wont you accept my friends request, I see you have several other single guys on your friends list "

Or the guy that writes " I read your profile, and I see you are friends with several cuckold couples. I don't meet what your profile asks for, but I am a great bull and will be in town tomorrow, lets meet"

I think our profile is long enough. Its got to be a bit boring in its length. But do we now need to add a small paragraph that says, "we like talking to other perverts, and just because one of our friends rubs off on a furry animal, is not indicative of our level of kink"? Or perhaps we should simply add that "your level of friendship is a matter of YMMV and don't expect us to condone or like you, we are just being polite"?

So this weekend when we find time we will weed out the friends we accepted in haste. We have our profile pretty well set and can now pay full attention to those requests.

How do YOU handle "Friends" requests, and do you look at the friends of someone before you friend them?

Mike and Christine



Comments
10:13 pm Wednesday, 17th June, 2015

Ah, that explains things. Thank you for that.

For us, it's all about resonance. Whether we add people to our list or not depends on on how we feel about them, intuitively and otherwise.

And no, we don't really look at the friends of potential friends. It's a kinestheticvisceral thing.

5:54 am Thursday, 18th June, 2015

Im not that much of an expert but in my opinion these is like a relation ship where u need to speek before u ask them to meet you ..... U dont just add them and ok afther that lets go f..... No i think you have to know to people who u want to meet , see what they want , what they like and what they dont like ..... Chat with them and afther that see if they or you are on the same page with them ..... Bcz afther all these is a relation ship , a bound ...and maybe more than that .... If they let you in that means they put some trust in you and you have to have some respect for that .....but these is my opinion

3:22 pm Thursday, 18th June, 2015

I've said this on numerous occasions in the past, but for me at least the "friends list" has little real meaning on a site such as this, and I don't actively seek people to add to it. I'm selective enough as it is on non-sexual social media sites, so on a sexually oriented site I'd have thought this approach has even more significance. The types of attitudes and problems you describe are the main reasons I prefer to avoid "friending" people here. I'm not antisocial - just mindful of the probs that "friends lists" can bring.....
Anyone I fancy goes on my fantasy list. Those who are on my friends list are there because I know and trust them, and you have to know me a long time before you get on there.

3:56 pm Thursday, 18th June, 2015

While I wouldn't urge anyone to be rude, it does seem that some people rely on you being to too polite to simply say "No thanks, no spark". And if they don't like that, and feel you OWE it to them to let them meet and show you how nicesexyruggedwell endowed they are... Well, if they won't take no for an answer, you're dodging a bullet right there.
Of course, none of this applies to Old, Bald, Fat men who're Vile Perverts. They're known to make the best lovers (apart from snoring).
You don't owe anyone more than basic politeness, and if you don't receive that in return you're forewarned. And as I tell EVERYONE, when I'm being avuncular, if the alarm bells go off when you're talking to someone... Consciously or unconsciously, you've spotted something that doesn't ring true.

3:59 pm Thursday, 18th June, 2015

Well the "to too" was just ineptness. But I'm agog to know how I managed to mistyped "f r o m s n o r i ng" to make the CensorBot kick in...

3:18 am Friday, 19th June, 2015

Well, if I am honest I am always surprised I get friends request from people I have never chatted with. In my case, it works in a very different way. First, we chat, we get to know if we have similar interest and then you could add me as a friend so I dont have many. I also delete some if we have not kept in touch for long or if we are getting in touch in a different way (outside the hub).

Therefore, M&C I think you could ignore the requests until they prove they could really be the friends you are really looking for or hoping.

5:10 am Friday, 19th June, 2015

My feet began to stutter,
So I laid down in the gutter,
And a pig came by and laid down by my side.
A lady passing by,
Looked and gave a sigh,
Saying " You can tell a man who boozes,
By the company he chooses ! "
..........and the pig got up and slowly walked away.

1:16 pm Friday, 19th June, 2015

Simple. Dont friend everyone, try not to friend of friends. Delete pic hunters and ignore computer matches and just be careful and selective. Goid luck

6:25 pm Friday, 19th June, 2015

well quite simple, a friend is not a friend until you have met them to now what there like

9:34 pm Friday, 19th June, 2015

We feel we use the 'friends' list for potential meets only. A couple we've chatted to and hit it off with.
We aren't collectors of 'friends' like football cards.
To us it means a little more.
But having read this forum we've also discovered this 'friends' list can mean so many more things to others that we'd never even thought of!
Great topic! x

7:49 am Saturday, 20th June, 2015

Mac: what is wrong with a list of arbitrary beauties? Hahaha...img src="imagesadultemoticons022.gif"

11:12 am Saturday, 20th June, 2015

Hahahahaha.....phewwww....I was about to Mac....good u stopped me img src="imagesadultemoticons012.gif"

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