the secret that will live inside me for life..

well, it has been days that it plays thru my mind over and over again, really need to express my feeling out before it explodes inside me..
and i hope its ok that i post it here just to share my encounter and here's the story goes:

it was a outstation job where i'm travelling with a group of people i met at the day in the airport to get to our destination.. when the group gather together, she's [C from here onward] the one that caught my eyes, C looks attractive to me and she's an smart lady but i cant help by notice the diamond ring at her finger.. then i found out that she's engaged and getting married soon, no surprised from there since she is lovely.

during the job, me and C are getting along quite well as co-worker and i wasn't think of anything else that could possibly happened. fast forward the story until the last night we were there, all of us went for a celebration in a pub, the last 4 ppl [me and C included] left in the group were hanging out from bar to bar until 4-ish in the morning and went back to our own room.

few minutes after i got to my room i got a text, it was from C, i was surprised at that moment, she were asking whether i wanted another drink with her or not. and being a fellow co-worker and friend, my initial intention is wanted to make sure her safety, so i follow her out to the nearby pub area but unfortunately most of the pub are closing soon, so we decided to take it to my room to continue drinking. i put on my playlist as she wanted music and drinks. we start to chat from work to our personal life on the couch..

after more than half a bottle, [i lost track of time] she began to show her tiredness and bent down and sleep on the small sofa pillow, i contd the conversation while giving her a massage on her neck,shoulder and back.. then she lend her back against me after i needed a break for my hand, i hug her from behind [sorry i know i'm bad and probably shouldn't]. C turn her head back and looked at me, we made eye contact and start kissing each other.. [sorry for not much detail since it wasn't just a sex story] the action starts from the couch and continued to the bed, there were pause in between where we had some small talk and then back to the kissing and touching..

as time flies, we were laying down on the bed naked [C] and almost naked [me] in the end, guess that we're not drunk enough to carry the action to 4th base.. i think the fiance was the concern in both our mind..i guess we are just the 2 lonely person that needed someone to hug and kiss,to being cared by someone next to us. we are happy, satisfied and enjoyed even we didn't have sex.

i got to admit that i like her, and i wouldn't want to sabotage her relationship/ life.. so i guess that i just got to keep it to myself and be her normal friend..

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