The Art of Seduction

Excellent school of thought but I have found that if barriers are taken down too much the mental side of things can come to the fore and take over. I imagine that most of us on here are just looking for NSA sexy fun. Why then should emotions come in to it and ruin what should be a fun, sexy and enjoyable experience for us all? xx

That is a good perspective on NSA.... So then boundaries need to be set. We are all human so what happens if emotion occurs??

Emotions get in the way of why we all came here in the first place. It then becomes difficult to try and explore new avenues as a sense of ownership creeps in to what is essentially a sexual partnership. If we wanted anything other ( as single people ) then a more conventional dating site would be more apt. For all the lucky couples in a loving relationship this blog has no value whatsoever. And they are envied by many xx

Anticipation is the biggest aphrodisiac known to man. The higher the level of that anticipation, the greater the intensity of the final result when it is released.
Personally that is only achieved by getting to know someone & developing an understanding into each others wants & needs. Which invariably leads to emotions developing ......... But for me an encounter without any emotion at all would be unwanted & unimaginable.
Just my opinion, don't think there is a right or wrong response to this & if you feel it's better without emotions fair play to you....

That was my thoughts averagejoe99 when I wrote this....bring a Libra, artistic and creative I appreciate beauty around me and maybe take things in different than some people do. I consider myself a passionate person in all that I do... Work, relationships, my art and just life in general. I do put my heart and soul into whatever I'm doing..... Is that wrong?!? I think not. You are right. There is no right or wrong response.... Just will who you click with on the same level. Communication is key...

Just depends on who your with. Communication is key!

LOL!! I like it. At least with site u are protected a bit from future contact is u don't like it! SensualSelf.. Love ur saying... A Maya Angelou fav of mine. I have it painted on canvas in my home.... It is so true! Life isn't worth living if u don't have those moments that take ur breathe away!

Suechris. So u have to agree that this site could yield a great relationship... Not just NSA relationship. How can u not talk to so many people and not click with someone??

Sue, please continue to make your comments whether sensible,silly or outrageous I and most others,greatly enjoy reading your pronouncements which are always humourous and without any trace of malice xxxxxxxxx.
This is a very interesting blog subject and I concur in the main,with the opinion which has been expressed.Whilst the mental and emotional aspects certainly add greatly to the frisson of an anticipated coupling, it is very hard to quantify as to how much of an "open book" people should be to each other.There are loads of people on here which I have a strong affinity with and who are firmly planted on the same wavelength as myself and who I know,I would be at ease with . In the final analysis,I suppose it comes down to the persons involved.If they are kindred spirits the boundary edge will either be naturally defined...or there may be no edge at all !

I could show you my favorite obsession
I've been making a man
With blonde hair and a tan
And he's good for relieving my tension.
Never judge a book by its cover -
by night he's an amazing lover
and I shiver with antici ... pacion.
Dr Frank N Furter x

SueChris - how's that for a daft comment?

I agree that intense anticipation can lead to unimaginable heights...but it can also lead to extreme disappointment.

As I read thru the added comments I see that I wasn't to far off base... Luv2 I like ur style!! MissGoodnight... I guess to look into the nature on which people write on the walls can tell a great bit.... One liners... Really why bother. Grammar, humor, content. That's where it's at. I love a good debate. Don't u. Again... My reason for the post..... People connect on different levels... But I do believe the more an intellectual connection the better the sex will be. Fair enough.

Latecomer to this thread, but I have basically three things to say:

1. Anticipation is a natural
reaction that everyone experiences when they establish contact with someone through a site like this for the first time. It gives you a warm glow that someone finds you interesting, and one's imagination naturally wanders in various directions as a result :-) However, the reality of the eventual meet can sometimes be a let-down (believe me I know !!) and so these days I tend to have a more go-with-the-flow attitude. (For the same reason, I find "What I'm going to do to you" e-mails hilarious :-) You simply have no guarantee of outcome until you actually meet.

2. The best sex comes when two people open up to each other and barriers break down. Achieving a certain level of mutual trust allows both partners to revel in wanton abandon, and you can't do that if there's a level of background tension. I always try to give as much background info about myself as I can in the opening communication stages to try and dispel any doubts people may have about me as an individual. However, I sometimes think that too much information can scare people away. (That has happened to me too :-)

3. The term "NSA" is bandied about a lot here. For some people, sex may indeed be as frivolous or insignificant as blowing one's nose, but for me - at least - it's a fairly big deal: I can't just show up, shag within 15 mins, and then walk away. If I know nothing whatsoever about a sexual partner, then the overall experience is empty in the extreme, and besides I've found that sex per se tends to *create* strings that bind two people, albeit tenuously in some cases. For this reason, the term "NSA sex" seems almost an oxymoron.

Thank You Skebbie..... Thank you for your post.... As u stated not enough information is pointless and too much can be awful as well.... But who doesn't like that feeling of meeting someone, having a wonderful time the first meet and loosing yourself in each other.... It's doesnt happen often but when it does.... Grab it, hold on to it, see where it goes. I admire couples that swing or share... That they love each other but want to experience sex and pleasure together. I'm not anywhere near that.

I'm glad I've received various responses on here.... Makes me more confident that how I feel isn't off base or out of the norm (whatever the norm is these days)
Sue, I had only a few NSA pool boy type scenarios and I'm just not a fan. At the time of heighten pleasure it was ok, but I find that I don't orgasm nearly as much. If you can masturbate and get better results why not just stay home!

Hahahaha! Ops. Revealed more than I should have on the pool boy?!

We all our human and we all desire to be loved as well as desiredlusted after. Your point is a very good one. To let the dust settle per se. Just to clarify my reason for this post was to get different perspectives on the subject. Everyone makes valid points a I have enjoyed reading them all. I too have started to see and understand it more. Tux SensualSelf!

We all our human and we all desire to be loved as well as desiredlusted after. Your point is a very good one. To let the dust settle per se. Just to clarify my reason for this post was to get different perspectives on the subject. Everyone makes valid points a I have enjoyed reading them all. I too have started to see and understand it more. Tux SensualSelf!

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We're experimenting,
Have we opened our mind ?
Or expanded it ?
By swinging ?
Who knows.
But we will be honest and say we don't open up, we don't discuss certain aspects of our lives that's private, so you's will never get to see the real side of us. Is that a bad thing or a good thing ?
Agree with most comments on here but the 3 that stick out are sue and Chris "it's an add on" and skebbie " it's not just a shag and then walk away"
And eroticgoddess comment
" intense anticipantion can lead to unimaginable heights..... But can also lead to extreme disappointment "
Xxx

I enjoyed reading the comments here immensely. I would like to say that I have got a clear answer but I don't. I think my mind has been changing for the past months in relation to what I want to get from here.

At the beginning, I thought that finding someone I could feel attracted to and then meet would be perfect. Then, I realized I could not just have a meet without any kind of attraction andor chemistry. Then, I was elevated to the highest levels of anticipation to be utterly and completely disappointed.

Now I think I need a balance but I am not sure how to achieve it. Therefore, I dont expect anything and just wait and see. :)

FFP: Believe me, having minimal expectations is the best way to go. If the signs seem promising through initial contact, then by all means go for a meet, but always be prepared just to "go with the flow" and to walk away with a wry smile if heshe is not what you expected. Really memorable and fulfilling dates are like gold dust, but when they happen they linger in the memory forever and make all the time you spend looking utterly worthwhile.

I have to ask the singletons on this site - what are you here for? The couples I understand. You are in a loving relationship and feel confident with each other to go and broaden your horizons. The original blog was questioning the mind and bringing down barriers. Somewhere along the line ( my fault ) emotions was brought in to it. Due mainly to the removal of barriers. I am left a little frustrated by some comments by the single people ( or person ) saying that NSA is an oxymoron. The only thing oxymoronic about that is the statement itself. Why do that? It is an insult to all that you meet. What is this? A try before you buy sight? How do you think the person feels when they read what has been penned. You are effectively saying they are not good enough or do not reach the exacting standards you are setting. Must be very painful for the ones you have met once and walked away. Just be honest. WHAT ARE YOU ON THIS SITE FOR. An emotional interface to rival Romeo and Juliet?

Captain, my Captain.........you seem to have misunderstood what I was trying to say. I've stated that sex tends to *create* strings, and that therefore (at least in my book) having sex with someone leaves me feeling that some sort of bond still remains, however tenuous. An oxymoron is a phrase that seems to be inherently contradictory. Therefore, as NSA means "no strings sex" (or so I believe :-) , to me it seems to be a little oxymoronic. I'm trying to figure out how this can be insulting to anyone. On the contrary, if I walk away from a tryst feeling a warm glow and I reminisce fondly about what has been shared, I would imagine that my partner would feel some satisfaction knowing that I think highly of her.

If, on the other hand, you feel that a date has been less than memorable, I have enough maturity and experience to realize that this is often due to perceived failings on my part, and not just on the part of my partner. After all, what transpires between two people very much depends on how they interact, and no two humans are the same. Therefore I am not advocating some sort of emotional abandonment or heartlessness, I'm simply saying that in this game you can't afford to let disappointments or failures get to you. If you do, then you're in for a hard time on this site. It's necessary to exercise a degree of emotional maturity. You make it sound as though I progress relentlessly leaving a train of road-kill in my wake (lol). Nothing could be further from the truth.

Happy days 😂

Gentleman.... If I may interject. I tend to lean toward Skebbies ideals , but that doesn't mean what you are stating Captain is wrong. It merely is a matter of presence and personal choice. I respect a man who is upfront and honest to say..... This is not a match, there is no real connection and sparks and walk away. Now if he runs the opposite way screaming.... I would be offended for sure. Lol. But at my age I don't want to play the game of wasting anyone's time.

OSF. I love your interjection. We are all different. So long as we are all honest with each other then who is going to get hurt? Armed with all the facts, we all know what we are getting in to x

But Can a man not be honest and upfront and not mean it, just to get what they want ? And this is in now way attended to any one. Like this conversation started you have to expand your mind !!! The first time I seen my wife with another man , anger, jealousy, disbelief, but also one of pure lust, sexual desire, wanting, made that the most desirable memory that we always have and look back on, and a one we are trying to recreate, but one we don't think we will as we to often feel we only hear what WE want, then on the meet it is some time " shag see you later" a real tun off. Art of seduction ? Take it both ways ?

Soul4, I have to agree with your earlier comments about experimenting and particularly about keeping private certain aspects of your life. I can appreciate that.
Although I have opened up on occasion, there are still limits and only ever after a certain amount of trust has been earned. I've not been let down so far ;-)

Have to say while i can and do keep my heart protected, i'm always wary that it's not always possible for some to stop a speeding train. While i do have to feel a connection to a person and build a certain level of trust i try to be careful and respect boundaries as one doesn't wish one's heart or the other persons heart to be trampled or crushed should lines get crossed due to misinterpretation. Have to say it is near impossiple to share so much of one's self with another without the two people leaving a lasting impression. Just my opinion for what it's worth. x

Hmm is your Doctor a 'Luv Dr' SensuaS? ;-)

I just want to get laid,I've juumped through all the Hoops an got laid a few times,WHY can't we just have a site in the same location where we check in an find a guygirl an go Fuck...I really need some pussy, at least once a week?? Sheezzzimg src="imagesadultemoticons030.gif"

Larrs, do you realise that you actually put those thoughts in print? You might have been better just thinking them.

I'm certainly no expert in these matters, but if I were to guess, I reckon you've just closed most of the doors that you were trying to open!

I think a woman who says she just has sex with a person with any kind connection would be lying to herself. I cannot vouch for men but I truly think to be able to enjoy the moment completely even if for one night, people need to feel attraction and some kind of connection. The problem are the layers. Women's hearts have got many layers and the more you peel or let people get it, the hardest is to just keep it NSA.

Slow: I think every single woman reading thelars comment will be running the opposite direction. Well, I am anyway.img src="imagesadultemoticons026.gif"

Lars... I think ur missing the boat... Jumping thru hoops .... Really. Anyone can bust a nut weekly... But if u want some really good mi d blowing sex it does take effort on both sides. But if ur just interested in a getting pussy then you will never get to a level of intimacy that renders truly amazing sex. Or maybe that's just what u want.... Self gratification.

There has to be mutual respect in any relationship Lars. If all you want is a fuck doll, then try the sex shop, they sell them in all shapes and sizes.....apparently (ahem!) img src="imagesadultemoticons007.gif"

I just find it strange SS that once sex comes into the equation, common decency and normal standards of behaviour seem to fly out of the window where some are concerned. 'Mind blowing sex' and civilised behaviour should not be mutually exclusive, but it wearies me to observe just how often that appears to be the case! img src="imagesadultemoticons022.gif"

SS and ELW, I guess that's what chat is for.... To really see the mentality of a possible partner. The wording, the grammar, the compliments or language or lack of any. Lol. Common respect is needed. You can get into a sexually charged convo and both enjoy it. Sex is more than physical...... Why can't some people grasp that????? Boggles my mind too. So. What are we drinking on this Monday

Hic! img src="imagesadultemoticons008.gif"

Ohhhhh Yes SS!!!! My fav

Verde is my fav!!!!!

Verde is my fav!!!!!

To add my 2 penny worth and believe me it's worth 2p at best. I lost my virginity when I was aged 29 to an escort, who was a stranger and quickly became a friend of sorts over the three times we met. Being very nervous she calmed me down with a cup of tea and chat before we headed upstairs. She laid me on the bed, laid next to me, then started kissing me and undoing my belt buckle. It was at this point I realised I needed the loo, the tea had gone right through me. Returning to the bedroom she had taken off her dress and was there in just a one piece pink lingerie, stockings and high heels. I just said wow and stopped dead in my tracks.

Upon her instruction I took off all my clothes, including my socks and laid on the bed. She removed the lingerie but kept on the stockings and high heels. That day she made me a man, but she also made all my dreams come true. The best part was the feeling of the silk stockings against my skin as we laid cuddling and spooning afterwards. But that's just my experience.img src="imagesadultemoticons004.gif"

Im curious to learn if your eilling a d availie to teach me some thi g new

I like your look I love to get to know more about you.img src="imagesadultemoticons008.gif"