Let's play the "I Have Never" game

Sadly I've been totally in love several times, but through bitter experience am now healthily cynical and will fight my corner on my right to be so :-)

I'm painfully insecure about my looks, so join the club.

I'd have thought nobody likes personal snide remarks. However, I think I'm sufficiently desensitized to that by now (thanks to these wonderful blogs :-)

I would never be full on about my attraction to anyone. I'm very stingy with compliments. (However, the corollary of that is that if I *do* give a compliment, then it must be sincere.)

I think women are more adept at refusal than men, and besides, men don't often have that luxury :-)

NY resolutions are generally bunk, but I think they are laudable in theory. For example, so far in 2015, I've probably drunk at least 25% less than in the corresponding period last year :-)

Never been to S. America, Africa, India, or Antarctica......plus at least about 300 subcontinental locations........nor am I likely to in the remainder of my allotted span. I'm quite happy with my routine commuting.

And finally......I'm probably the best example of why massive musculature is not essential for a man to get laid :-) Wimps everywhere.......I salute you :-)

You have clearly never been to Carlisle Ms G....

Anyway here's a little known fact about the Border City - Botchergate was the location of the very first post box in the UK.

Bothchergate these days is more well know for binge drinking, fighting and projectile vomiting. A bit like the good old days when the city was fought over by the Scots and the English..

There are many things I have not done, but virtually none that I regret not doing (if that makes sense).

For the record I have never been a bridesmaid either.

I've never been a bridesmaid neither.

Well I've never had any luck on here! Does that count people??

I have never been able to resist temptation.
I have " Never smiled at a crocodile ".
I have " Never played with the gypsies in the woods "
I have never worked out when " The Twelfth of Never was "
I have never met the author of Tom Sawyer ( Never the Twain shall meet )
Never been to a Swell Party " Well did you ever ? Never ! What a swell party this is."
And I've never minded that I never mattered to anyone.

Another Micheal Caine "not many people know that" factual gem: The market cross at Carlisle was the *last* known location where someone put his wife up for sale in the UK (wife-selling being presumably totally above board in those wild and wooly times........)

Don't you think it's statistically staggering that three regular bloggers all have a connection to Carlisle.....of all places? Perhaps all those 22-yr-old nymphos in Long Marton make regular charabanc rides into Botchergate in the hope of bumping into me, Ron or Riggs.............

Curvy: I would say it's me who's the "specimen" (i.e. a pale spindly thing in a glass jar), whereas perhaps Ron and Riggs are the "men" :-)

Good point made there Skebbie. Carlisle is on the face of it an unusual candidate for a place to link to.

That said the region is steeped in independent thought and action, often downtrodden, always out at the edge (eg the Roman Empire). From the days of the Reivers through the Harrying of the North Cumbria has quietly got on with life without too much hand wringing.

Anyway I popped into the Masons Arms the other night (the pub in Long Marton). All I can say is that the hotties must have still been on the chara on their way to Botchergate because it was dead as owt. Still. I will persevere!

Oh and never mind what anyone else tells you King Arthur was from these parts.

Riggs: At the risk of blogjack, I'm curious as to whether you are an actual "native", or became "naturalized". I know Ron is the latter, whereas I'm the former. (This is strictly academic interest, you realize........)

But yes I agree. I think Carlisle has an amazing history and a unique local culture, which - for some reason - remains little known and very low key, as opposed to (say) Geordieland or Scouseland. I'm really chuffed that I come from there.

More nevers:

Have never understood why people get upset when their blog's comments take an unexpected turn for the very very different (one of my blogs had 125 comments, over half of which were on why potatoes had girl's names); my blog was in the top 5 for weeks.

Have never had sex in a car.

Have never understood why some people don't think cats are godsgoddesses.

Have never spent an utterly lazy day chatting and reading blogs (right).

I have never ...

Understood why men have nipples.

Eg. "Why potatoes have girls names"
I'd like to ask why girls are named after potatoes. #PotatoesHaveFeelingsToo

Nipples are the embryonic default setting for both sexes. Once the hormones kick in, the related structures undergo metamorphosis and hypertrophy. By analogy, you could say the clitoris is a rudimentary penis that was never exposed to testosterone (or at least not in sufficient amounts to cause it to grow into a "proper" penis). Quite simple really :-)

Actually, Skebbbie, it's the other way around--a penis is an enlarged clitoris; babies are girls first by default, some develop into boys. :)

I suppose falling hook, line and sinker for someone is, to a degree, the luck of the draw in so far as being in the right place at the right time, but also in the right frame of mind. Sadly for some, our experiences make it difficult to not be so weary that we bloke our own receptiveness - we don't want to be hurt any more.
Beauty is truly in the eye of the beholder. Virtually everybody worries about, or is insecure with their attractiveness. Apart from a few sad individuals who mistakenly believe they are God's gift, this is true of blokes as well. As for you, I find you very attractive: the whole package, body and personality and this latter is of more importance to to most.
Saying NO is again difficult to say without being brutal or not firm enough, and perhaps there are sometimes that No does not mean never. "Flattered but no thanks." Is a good place to start from.

I've never seen an elephant fly......

Born in Kendal Skebbie, raised at the foot of Mallerstang close to where Uter Pendragon built his castle, ran away with the Circus for 30 plus years then returned a bit broken and confused to rebuild my soul in Rigger's mountain lair at the foot of Cross Fell.

And in the spirit of this blog I have never regretted a day of it (although the TutuSugar Plumb Fairydance thing in a frozen N Norway might be a contender)

Thank you for that sensible answer Skebbie.
So nipples are yet another redundant aspect of the male anatomy?

Indeed they do Graham, but don't start me.
It's not that I'm in a man-hater mood; it's because I'm in an asshole hater mood (there's a slight difference).
;-)

Never have i ever found a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow
Never have i ever seen pigs fly
Never have i ever totally understood men
Never have i ever met a man that totally understands 'me'

SpotK think there is more chance of hell freezing over, as no government delivers on their promises!

Never have i ever had a dream come true, only nightmares seem to come true for little old me img src="imagesadultemoticons009.gif"

Never been to Scotland
Never been in a helicopter
Never seen a black mans thing for real!! Oops did I really say that!!
Never understood the attraction of fake boobs!! Or lips for that matter !! I could go on for hours on this one but I wont.

I've never been confident
I've never liked marmite
I've never known what I wanted to do in life
I've never seen a Rocky film
I've never been chased along a sandy beach by Natalie Portman & Kate Beckinsale while wearing flippers and a scuba diving mask only to be caught by both as I fall into a rock pool filled with Butterscotch Angel Delight with no means of escape ..........

Sorry think my mind was wandering a bit there.

EG:

"a penis is an enlarged clitoris; babies are girls first by default"

Er.....I think in fact that was the thrust of my post (if you'll excuse the expression). Perhaps I could have worded it better?

Also interesting to note that the clitoris has a hood (analogous to the foreskin of the penis), which no-one in their right mind would consider cutting off. So I wonder why in some cultures there's a mad rush for the scissors when little boys are born? Strange.

Really, oft i must have my eyes closed in the chat room for fear of someone popping up on cam as i've never seen flying pigs Norf. :-) x

Wow!! This took me a while:
NEVER
Just be brave enough to do something out of my comfort zone without thinking about the consequences of my actions (I know sad)
Be absolutely confident about my looks (well you all know that now after my blog)
Had an Asian or African boyfriend or lover.
Been with a man older or younger than me by 5 years (I know, don't ask why..I have no clue but changing my preferences on this site)
Done extreme sports, eaten chocolates until getting sick or dog (I know gross right?)

Gosh I could write 100 things more and now, I am getting depressed...not really...However, I think I should start doing more.

I realize that some would regard me as a boring old fart, but to tell you the honest truth, despite the fact I have never been to many places in the world, I'm rapidly losing my motivation for doing so. Maybe the fact I've become established in a foreign culture but still able to return to UK has sufficient compensations. Likewise with sex: I reckon I've tried anything that was remotely interesting, but now I've settled into an "I know what I like" pattern. I think I'm sufficiently long in the tooth now to recognize those activities that wouldn't do anything for me.

Food and drink: well......I guess that's an ongoing journey and I've always been willing to try anything. Having no known allergies is a help in this respect :-) However, I don't live to eat, so maybe that's why I always managed to stay thin :-)

Skebbie, I related to have lost motivation to go to places. I could have done last Xmas and I did not because I just wanted to truly do nothing. I wish I cud say the same about sex. I think I need to do more in this department but I need to be brave and I think I have found the right person but only time will tell. About food, I also try anything but dog or cats (NO WAY), there is a limit. Hope you are doing well in wonderful Japan.

My 'must spend less time online' resolution didn't last the month out, hmm.
No apologies, but I did have reasons.

I like this 'I have never... ' blog. Ok here goes.
Have never managed to drink whiskey (and most other shorts) without throwing up, no big deal I know, but I do like the look of brandy.. oh well.

I have never been able to get over being in love.. not really.
Twice in my life now I've been rendered almost zombie-like. I know, stupid eh?
Thought I knew the meaning of 'Hook, line and sinker', but I didn't.. Do now though.

Once when I was nineteen, she was older, so maybe that doesn't count.. Infatuation?
I guess so. (I now see '19' as still almost a child, in many ways).
Then once when I was far too old to be so foolish... and ought to have known better. She's still in there.. I still miss her.
But I can function nowadays.
Never again. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. Honest.
Many and various little affairs have come and gone, with no real damage on either part..
I think I'll keep it this way.
Still, I've chided others for not living by the "Never say never" thingy.. as I try to, mostly, lol. Confused? You bet I am.

Ok sensible now,
I haven't travelled enough, by a long chalk. Driven from a North sea ferry all across the top from Zeebrugge and all around Germany, loved it.. but that's about it! Tut. (She thought 'travelling' meant going to Bridlington...).

I've never been able to keep my big nose out of men beating women. Had a bit to do with a women's refuge years ago, was absolutely appalled. Had to do something, but it's hard. Could have gladly murdered a few men.
This HAS been a big deal to me.

I never passed my motorbike test !!! Dammit.
Also, never quite managed to sell my daughter to buy a microlight. Ebay was rubbish. Project is ongoing.
Would sell son too, but fear they would offer me more to take him back....
Ideas on a postcard please.

Ohhhh bugger.
In my defence, I was pissed. A little.

Far too much info.
Next years resolution WILL be:
"Do NOT touch keyboard if bottle of red open".

S4U: I feel your pain. I tend to get too cocky online if I've had a few, so these days I try stay sober for blogging :-)

Shymike....not sure I should like your comment or not.....DISLIKE THE US????

how dare you, lol.

I've never seen Luv2's left nipple either, but will gladly sign any petition that gets up and running ;-). Ohh I hope it will be legally binding on Luv2's part, lol.

Also, just to be different, I'd settle for her right nipple ;-)

Heck Subis', you've NEVER had a job you liked?? Blimey, that's rough.

A big bucket list item next...
I've never cupped a false boob..!!
But I'm dying to. Are they a similar weight? Stiffer, softer? Are they still lovely and squidgy?
God, I do hope the nipples don't change...
(Volunteers please ring 0779...... )

I've never seen the Aurora Borealis, but would love to. I fancy that cruise thingy they run.

Never had a tattoo.

This one is shameful.. but I've never, in all my years, made myself climax with my left hand !! ;-) (Puts an alert on the phone right now to remind me)

I've never had a serious relationship.

I've never been to Wales, Ireland or Scotland.

I've never taken serious drugs.

I've never gambled in a casino.

I've passed my driving test but never owned a car.

I've never owned a HDTV.

I've never been to the gym but have managed to keep in shape.

I've never celebrated Valentines Day. (No I'm not cheap or dead inside)

I've never tried Guinness.

Is a serious drug the opposite of a silly drug?

And god forbid--has ANYONE read 50 shades past the first sex scene? (I've heard better sex scenes on pm in the chat room).

Mine posted without the rest:

I've never appreciated watersports of any kind (skiing included).

I've never like politics of any kind, either the kind you vote for or the kind that occurs at work or (god forbid) in the chats and blogs with sly, snide comments.

I've never seen a dragon or an elf, though I keep looking (as I have one pointy ear, I keep hoping the elves will show themselves to me, but I don't breathe fire or hoard gold, so hold out no hope for seeing a dragon).

I've never believed someone when he tells me he likes me.

I've never understood why most of the men I like are gay.

Hahaha Enigma.. I like your thinking!!
That's EXACTLY what a man's nipples are for!!

Been caught or been in court?