Witches and the prototype dildo

3:00 pm Saturday, 1^st November, 2014

I saw this explanation and thought it just confirms that I MUST have been a witch in a former life!

The number one Halloween costume for at least the last five years has been a witch. Aside from the pointy hat, the most recognizable accessory for any witch is her trusty broom. The image of a witch flying around on her broomstick is very iconic of Halloween, but where did this legend originate? As it turns out, the broomstick might have been a way to get high on hallucinogenics.

The origins of the myth come from the late Middle Ages, when suspected witchcraft was met with being burned at the stake. Medieval times, if you’re not familiar, were not a great time to live. A series of famine, disease, and war killed large portions of the population. Anyone suspected of performing magic or having questionable morals was assumed to have been in cahoots with the devil and became a catch-all scapegoat for the cause of those problems. Those who practiced “magic” were often using herbs to treat various conditions, though various side effects made them appear like sorcery. Some concoctions were used recreationally—not medicinally—which is where the legend of the broomstick comes in.

The ingredients of these “witches’ brews” typically included nightshade (Atropa belladonna), devil’s snare, (Datura stramonium), black henbane (Hyoscyamus niger), and mandrake (Mandragora officinarum). The blended ointment is able to bring on psychoactive symptoms that induces hallucinations. These herbs are high in alkaloids, which makes them very toxic. Even if ingested in small quantities, nausea and vomiting can occur. Applying the herbs topically minimizes the negative side effects without interrupting the hallucinations.

Not all areas of the skin are able to able to absorb the brew in the same way. Sweat glands in the armpits are good at absorbing the mixture, but women during that time period wore immense amounts of clothing that were layered and tight-fitting. They covered the neck and made the armpits hard to reach. There was one other location that readily absorbed the brew: the genitals.

Those who wished to use the mixture on the genitals were now tasked with getting it up there. It is believed that the broomstick became the preferred tool. The earliest evidence of this comes from the investigation of Lady Alice Kyteler, who was suspected of using witchcraft to kill her husband in 1324:

“In rifleing the closet of the ladie, they found a pipe of oyntment, wherewith she greased a staffe, upon which she ambled and galloped through thick and thin.”

Jordanes de Bergamo, a Medieval writer who studied witches’ behavior, had this to say in the 15th century:

“But the vulgar believe, and the witches confess, that on certain days or nights they anoint a staff and ride on it to the appointed place or anoint themselves under the arms and in other hairy places.”

After applying the ointment to the genitals with the broomstick, the psychoactive effects began to sit in. Getting high in this manner has been described as feeling weightless, like you're disassociating from the ground, free to move in any direction. After straddling a greased-up hallucinogenic broomstick, the user subsequently experienced the feeling of flying. Over several centuries, the story morphed into what we commonly think of today.

However, it’s hard to know exactly how forthcoming the historical accounts are, particularly because of fear associated with witchcraft during that time. Most of these sources come from judges who may have embellished details and from accused witches, who likely gave forced confessions under extreme duress.

Now the next time someone asks you, “Why do witches ride on broomsticks?” you’ll be able to proudly respond: “To shove hallucinogenic drugs into their vaginas, of course.”

Comments

Skebbie	3:22 pm Saturday, 1^st November, 2014 Hmmmmm.....yes: Dixon has sometimes been referred to as the Nimbus 2000, and I don't think the ladies in question were hallucinating :-)
SunShineGirllUK	8:38 pm Saturday, 1^st November, 2014 I think i will stick to drinking pints of 'Red Witch' (snakebite, blackcurrant and pernod) Ain't no bloomin brush shaft going anywhere near my delicate areas lol. Though i haven't touched Red witch for many many years, the foolishness of youth indeed.x
averagejoe99	8:39 pm Saturday, 1^st November, 2014 Getting high in more than one way Gilli.... Might also explain why they normally a pussy riding on it with them? Coming from the area where the infamous witch trials were held it's a surprise they kept this so quiet ;-)
averagejoe99	10:07 am Sunday, 2^nd November, 2014 Before you know it MissG he'll start smiling! ;-)
Luv2sucU	11:08 am Sunday, 2^nd November, 2014 " ... described as feeling weightless, like you're disassociating from the ground, free to move in any direction." I can feel like that with a dance floor and a glass of wine or two.
averagejoe99	11:44 am Sunday, 2^nd November, 2014 Hmmmmm Just the two Luv2?........... And not a broom in sight StarG, long may it continue!
doktorzook	10:41 am Tuesday, 4^th November, 2014 Just goes to show that in the olden days they were all fucking mental!!
Skebbie	11:40 am Tuesday, 4^th November, 2014 "in the olden days they were all fucking mental" --- quote from the Emeritus Professor of Medieval History at Oxford University.
Skebbie	11:44 am Tuesday, 4^th November, 2014 Lillie: I agree. Some of those things they used to do to suspected witches might appeal to our BDSM enthusiasts :-) I'm wondering if the witchfinder generals at that time were the forerunners of present-day "doms" (for want of a better term) :-)
Skebbie	12:50 pm Tuesday, 4^th November, 2014 I can vouch for that. As described in a previous post, I was once peed on deliberately while "otherwise engaged" down there because she thought I would "enjoy it". (I suspect she thought I would be fooled into thinking she'd "gushed" (qv concurrent blog)). However all it did was render me temporarily blind and made me feel I'd been removed from the deep end with a rescue hook.
Tugman69	12:55 am Friday, 7^th November, 2014 I just loved your writing style and the way you have brought the story to a modern day understanding in way that should not offend any normal thinking person lol
Fetch1	7:32 am Friday, 7^th November, 2014 Gillibean. I congratulate you on a very scholarly dissertation,no doubt you were a Grade A student at Hogwarts! It has prompted me to compose a parody of a classic Frank Sinatra song and I'm sitting at the piano,dressed from head to toe in sequins and singing and playing this,just for you ! " That Old Black Magic has me in it's spell. That Old Black Magic that you weave so well. That greasy broomstick up and down your vagina. There's no sensation that could be much finer. That same old feeling that you get inside. And when that broomstick finally starts to slide. Down and down you go. Round and round you go. In a spin. Loving that spin you're in. Under that Old Black Magic called,er......Wood ? " ( with apologies to Harold Arlen - Composer and Johnny Mercer - Lyricist )
Fetch1	6:51 am Saturday, 8^th November, 2014 liilie...if Michael Douglas can perform an unlikely impression of Liberace, then so can I !
rigger101uk	8:43 am Saturday, 8^th November, 2014 Just for the uninitiated Gilly has pretty much described modern day life in riggerland. Even the broadband connection is in fact dried toad entrails looped together. Anyway where's my ducking stool?
Fetch1	9:15 am Saturday, 8^th November, 2014 Rigger. How the duck should i know where your stool is ?
Slow4u	3:08 am Wednesday, 19^th November, 2014 Eh? Have Rigger and Fetch got a peach inspediment? Both related to wildfowl too,... curiouser and curiouser... Rigger could have said "where's me effing buffet?" Fetch could have said "How the 'eck should I know...?" Ohhh hang on a sec, oh right.. gotcha now.
goldhawk	3:45 pm Wednesday, 19^th November, 2014 atropa belladonna is a little harsh. nightshade is not a good nightcap. however aquae vitae suitably infused with junipers, damsons, sloe berries, elderflower, quinine tincture, brewed over a warming stove then cooled, added ice & lime, usually has an effect. especially when served in a flagon. and then imbibed over a period of an hour or so. quaffing swiftly can also lead to a similar spell being cast. subsequently even a simple task can become an obstacle course. but obstacle courses are better tackled with undergarments removed and becoming a commando witch.
Slow4u	9:37 pm Wednesday, 19^th November, 2014 Mmmmmm... yeah but... A Witch GOING Commando sounds more like it. Commandos have good ropework skills, mmmm.. They can give and take punishment... mmmm.. They positively LOVE getting filthy, mmm... If you wanna be fucked, a Commando can fuck you up good and proper, :-) I feel a new book coming on !!
Slow4u	9:41 pm Wednesday, 19^th November, 2014 And Lillie.. if you have a peach that needs inspection....... I'm not a real Peach Inspector, but I'm a very enthusiastic amateur and will have a bloody good look for you ;-)
Slow4u	7:38 pm Thursday, 20^th November, 2014 Lillie, ssshhhhh... (I'm trying to keep my professionalism quiet, in case they ever allow these things into the Olympics ) :-) Plus, calling someone an 'amateur' is a bit of a slur.. But an 'enthusiastic amateur', now, that's a whole different thing lol. And another thing... There's nothing B&Q or 'DIY ish' when the DIY'ing is being done FOR you... by someone else, lol.... Demonstrations could be arranged.. x

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Witches and the prototype dildo

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