Best excuses used in A&E to explain injuries

Dislocated shoulder during sex! That's the Gdu we know and love!!!!

My cousin Harry had a heart attack when banging his secretary.Caused a bit of a stir in A and E when he was brought in,Dead On Arrival.

Wingit. His funeral was a riot too.All the elderly female relatives, "Tut- Tutting" and all the guys saying " Good Old Harry "
A great way to go I agree but my ideal would be to do that,then after, drive a Ferrari into infinity like the character in Neville Shute's book " On The Beach "

Not quite a trip to A&E but,,,,,,,

Years ago I worked for a company that made hand painted enamel trinket boxes, and one of my jobs was to make the paint for them.

I had a machine that once used needed to be cleaned off with a suitable solventthinner. I have always had, and always will, the habit of putting rubbish in my pockets so not to litter. This included the slightly soiled solvent cloths used to wipe the machine down.

One day after I had stuffed several, rather extremely soaked solvent cloths in my pocket, I noticed a rather unpleasant tingle around my groin area, that rapidly increased to a severe burning pain, and resulted in my running through the factory at breakneck speed, shedding my overalls as I ran to the nearest toilet!

Someone alerted the site nurse, who then burst in to see if see could help only to find me with my trousers round my ankles, tackle in the sink, and trust me, the biggest smile of relief on my face you could possibly imagine!

The poor girl didn't know what to do! And beat a hasty retreat back through the door!

The finishing departments of the company were staffed with a lot of very pretty arty type females who then took great pleasure in ribbing me over the event every time I delivered a fresh batch of paint.

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There is a particular condition whos name eludes me but it essentially involves the old chap swelling to the point where the foreskin becomes so constrictive that things just get bigger and bigger. An oppo of mine suffered in the middle of nowhere (he was welsh and probably thinking of sheep or goats or something..)

He was casevaced on a stretcher with his legs dangling either side and became quite a visitor attraction. When the Doc came with a large syringe his comment was "try and leave the size but take the fecking pain away!"

Medic, That's because we are a group of very well behaved good boys and girls' !!!!!! !!!