My wife and I have both been pleasantly surprised at how much we have enjoyed our journey into the lifestyle. But like so many others we came with many fears. We are slowly working through most of these fears and are re-gauging them all the time. We are also learning that Some of these fears may never subside. My biggest fear was the risk of something going awry on this journey of sexual freedom and losing my wife in the aftermath. We are both overtly sexual people and have even surprised ourselves with the things we have said to each other after too many bottles of wine. However, for me the equation was always simple, the risk of destroying the relationship didn't outweigh the intrigue of trying it. It took many sober (and sometimes awkward) conversations to lay out the ground rules and to consider the hypotheticals before we wrapped our heads around the idea of sharing ourselves with other people. Then it begged another important question, would we allow ourselves to drift into taking advantage of an opportunity, if one ever presented itself; with the right people, right mood, right location, right blood alcohol level, etc, etc... Or would we take a less passive approach and seek out these opportunities ourselves. Suffice it to say, we chose the latter.
This brings us to our next fear, the rest of the world... My hat goes off to those of you brave enough to post pictures in this new and scary place. And not just the naughty ones with no identifiable markings. The truly brave are the proud few that have the gumption to post a head shot and live without fear of judgement or persecution. As much as we appreciate what pictures can do to add flavour to a profile, we are just not there yet...
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6:51 am Sunday, 20th April, 2014
I'm very curious about how this lifestyle started for you guys. I'm very attracted to it but my wife isn't. She's worried mostly about loosing each other somehow. I have to admit the concern crossed my mind a bit. Was there one of you that resisted the idea? If so, would you mind sharing your story about how you two came together and joined the lifestyle?
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5:26 am Monday, 21st April, 2014
Good evening Jimmy. Cinnamon read some of your blogs a little while back and thinks that you and your wife must have something pretty special if your dark side didn't send her running for the hills. In some ways I would say that you have started "swinging" emotionally. You have opened up to her and admitted that you would like to try something new and different. That part is scary as hell. In our case, our similar drunken dialog eventually (and in our case, I mean years) led to a sober conversation about would this be something we could actually go through with. Trust, openness, honesty and acceptance are the foundations you need before you jump in. It took a strong and loving woman to understand and accept your fantasies. Be prepared to support her fantasies, even if they are completely foreign to you and even if they don't lead you into the lifestyle. If one partner is only half willing, the lifestyle will tear you apart. For things to "work" the physical aspects of the lifestyle need to follow the emotional support from each other.
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7:24 am Monday, 21st April, 2014
Scary as hell is an understatement. It took me two days to figure out how to even start the conversation. But it was the best thing I ever did. It's great being open to her. It has brought us closer I think.
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